A Father’s Legacy: Happy Feelings Live Forever and Here’s 5 Ways How
There is nothing else in the world that compares to the start of a Saturday morning in the Gurley household to me
There is nothing else in the world that compares to the start of a Saturday morning in the Gurley household to me. I am cuddling with my children Jackson and Jameison on the couch, the tangy tangerine, fresh guava, and green grass aroma of the Sensational Storm scented candle permeates throughout the house, and the radiant sun is shining through the open blinds as the soulful sounds of Frankie Beverly blares from my JBL Partybox Essential, “Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo… Happy feelings in the air… Touching people everywhere… Plenty love and everything. Listen to the people sing”. As I spend this time with my children, I find the moment reminiscent of my own childhood. These intimate moments that I am blessed to share with my children invoke reflection on all the time I was able to spend with my own father and the time I was not able to spend with him following his untimely passing in 2014. Nostalgia is typically associated with happy feelings and longing to relive an experience, generally a joyful or positive one. However, there is no formula to prepare you for nostalgia and its connection to grief; the ability to provide solace and to be a trigger for sadness.
December 23, 2014, eleven Christmas’s passed, ten birthdays gone, two degrees earned, purchasing my first car, a few career changes, relocation across the country, marrying the woman of my dreams, purchasing our first home, creating two beautiful children and with all of these changes I still wish my father was here to live these experiences with me. Out of all the things that have happened since my father’s passing, I really wish he had the opportunity to meet my wife and our children most. Three thousand eight hundred seventeen days ago and I can still vividly recall every one of the details from that entire day when I lost my father. Oddly, much of the time I feel like it just happened, although it was several years ago but the beat goes on.
I discovered my love for music and listening to it at earsplitting volume from my father. I can remember as a boy, my father had a stereo system in the living room and one in his bedroom, as well as multiple CD racks to house the CD cases and books with plastic sleeves filled from cover to cover with physical CDs. Barry White, Luther Vandross, Outkast, Jay-Z, Big L, Big Pun, you name them, and I’d bet my last that he had their music. For the music that was too explicit my mother would make him listen to it in stereo headphones you know the big black over the head earphones, but he listened so loudly I was still able to hear and learn the lyrics, “Wu-tang Clan ain’t nothing to…” well you know the rest.
I’ve adopted this same tradition with my own children exposing them to many artists across many genres of music. Saturday mornings and weekday evenings before dinner we have jam sessions listening to all types of music. Jackson and I dance and sing to the top of our lungs to some songs while we sit and bop our heads to others. I always wonder if my father was here to listen to music with us what would be the song he’d say I have to play this for the kids. I am grateful that my father shared his love for music with me thus strengthening our bond and allowing me to create and share that same love to further bond with my own children.
It brings me immense joy to honor my father’s legacy through the continuance of our traditions with my own children. Here are five more ways that I commemorate my father’s presence and navigate grief:
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The ten-inch touchscreen digital picture frame allows almost immediate sharing of photos from anywhere. It can be gifted with special moments preloaded prior to unboxing.
The Family Keepsake Journal is a way for Fathers and other family members to share their memories and experiences over the course of their lives in a fun and engaging manner that creates a special gift for the entire family.
This Framed vinyl record personalized with names, a special memory, a song, and the lyrics come in four sizes ranging from extra small to extra-large. This personalized canvas intertwines music and memories into a priceless piece of art.
This deck contains 45 prompts and 7 wishes with the purpose of assisting with processing and managing grief and mourning. The intention of this deck is to equip the reader with tools to remember, love, and cherish the memory of someone that they have lost.
