Back-to-School with Five Kids! No Problem!

The Reids Share Their Journey & Techniques for Managing their Kids During the School Year

Written By: Aaron Paxton Arnold

A lot of good things come in “fives,” most notably, the early 1990s phenom - the University of Michigan’s Wolverines starting five basketball teams. Known as the “FAB 5,” their nickname, short for Fabulous Five freshmen, was given to them due to their unprecedented swag/talent and how they changed college basketball culture and pop culture forever.

Fast forward to 2023, nestled in a posh Atlanta suburb, you can find another “Fab 5” poised to change the world. They aren’t college athletes (yet), however, this Fabulous Five ranges in ages from 5-12 years old (two boys and three girls). This young collective of energetic and talented children has their two parents, Harold & Maria, to thank for all they have. But inquiring minds needed to know, how does this couple, who met in college at Hampton University, manage five kids…especially when it comes to school shopping throughout the year?

In 2023, with layoffs continuing and inflation rising, 55% of parents believe that school shopping is more stressful than the holidays for the kids and them. In this article, we talked to the Reids to let parents know they are not alone. Their transparency when it comes to not only back-to-school shopping but maintaining throughout the school year will help many because despite this being a challenging time for many parents (and kids) it can also be a fun and positive experience.

-Harold (& Maria)

1. How many children do you have?

We have five children, ages 5 – 12 years old.

2. How do you manage and balance it all when it comes to back-to-school shopping and shopping throughout the school year for their various needs (i.e., school projects, new clothes, field trips etc.)

Back-to-school has honestly been a nightmare in the past for us. Trying to find 3 different brands of pencils or the correct three-ring binder or even a particular count of crayons between all five kids meant multiple trips searching multiple stores, which resulted in a lot of frustration. Over the last two years, we have taken part in a program offered by their school. The program allowed us to order the supply box online, which was already put together with the assigned grade-level supplies. The supplies then get delivered directly to each child's classroom. The cost equaled out to about the same as us individually purchasing them, and it saved us from stressing!

3. When it comes to picking classes and preparing your children for a new grade…how do you balance the "preparation" part along with the typical back-to-school shopping duties.

We are so lucky to have kids who have not been anxious or worried about moving to a new grade. We have always encouraged them to be curious and ask questions, so they feel prepared for what is to come. We stay involved with the teachers throughout the year, so the school knows to keep us informed about anything new going on and we in turn keep our kids informed. We prepare our backpacks the night before along with getting our clothes out so the morning of the first day is filled with excitement and pictures!

4. Growing up…hand-me-downs from older cousins, friends, siblings were common and helped my parents out tremendously…in 2023, do you do this with your kids?

Having a large family, hand-me-downs are common in this house! Our kids know the value of saving and there has never been a great deal of emphasis put on having all brand-new clothes. Each kid gets a few brand-new outfits, and that is mixed in with gently used clothes from siblings or family.

5. Are there any financial hacks (i.e., sponsorship, hand-me-downs, coupons, reward points, thrift shopping) that prevent you two from overextending yourself financially?

One hack we use is bulk buying. We tend to favor purchasing things that are sold in bulk, and then we will break those down into smaller portions which helps save. For example, for pantry items like cereal or snacks, we will take a large bag and divide those into individual portions for them to take for their lunch. It prevents food waste and helps us save money.

6. Are there any incentives that you put in place for your kids? For example, if they bring home straight As are you more willing to adhere to their material wants?

We don't do major incentives on report card grades because we want them to focus on the larger picture. We tell them that getting good grades will help them later in life such as getting into college or being able to be part of special organizations and groups. We do, however, showcase whatever work is brought home with a good grade or smiley face by putting it on the refrigerator. We want them to have a sense of pride every time they walk into the kitchen. We have found that this provides them with an internal drive to do good work so it can make it to the fridge. At the end of the school year, we typically go out and celebrate their accomplishments with ice cream.

7. How much pressure, if any, do you feel to get your kids what they ask when it comes to clothing, sneakers, tech (i.e., laptops, phones)?

The world is so driven by immediate satisfaction and the need to get the newest and greatest thing. This has been difficult to navigate in the world of parenting, but I believe we have managed this by keeping the kids grounded and focused on wants versus needs. We teach them that you don't always get what they want, and that is okay. We also encourage them that if there is something that they absolutely want it requires hard work. That means doing a few extra chores around the house, so they understand later in life that you must put in extra effort in order to earn things.

8. It’s reported that U.S. consumers spent an average of $661 per child and $36.9 billion in total on back-to-school purchases. On average, how much do you spend per child?

Between clothes, shoes, and supplies we typically spend approximately $400-450/child.

9. More than 4 in 5 parents (81%) have gotten into an argument over back-to-school shopping, especially over the price (49%), style (35%), or brand (26%) of an item ... have any of these situations applied to you?

As parents, we typically have not gotten into arguments over back-to-school shopping. We are typically on the same page and already discuss and preplan what we plan to spend and on what. Most of our arguments come from the kids perhaps wanting a style or clothing that is not appropriate for school or a school supply that is over the top and not needed like a way overpriced bedazzled pencil box that is more stylish then functional.

10. Despite the hecticness of it all, what do you and your partner do to shift the kids energy from summer mode to school mode? And simultaneously, how do you two stay connected and support each other in that transition as well?

Shifting from summer to a structured school schedule can be difficult. We have learned that starting one week prior to school helps with the transition. A week before school, we start the routine of going to be early and waking up as if we are going to school. We ensure that we are both enforcing the same rules so we both feel supported. Communication is key. We have to stay connected and stand firm on the rules. The kids will appreciate this so when it is time for school to start, their minds and bodies are prepared.

11. How do you manage the stress of your kids when it comes to the pressures they face of being “cool” to their friends with the latest trends from social media to fashion to ever-changing technology.

I think all parents want their children to be in school and feel as if they belong. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Since our kids were younger we have made it a point to feed them with positive affirmations. We encourage a lot of self-love. We do this in hopes of building their emotional well-being so they are less likely to seek outside approval. Being cool in this house is loving yourself and others. When it comes to staying "trendy" or "cool" we encourage them to have their own personal style; if that means buying something special, we make them earn it! That is when more chores that we mentioned previously come into play!

12. How do you establish morality & boundaries that you hope your children will adhere to as it pertains to the ever-changing commercial trends (& groupthink of their peers & when outside of the home)?

We realized that when the kids leave the house to go to school or an event, we can't control them. We can only trust that what we instill in them at home will be carried with them. We as parents try our best to be intentional with our words and actions so they understand how to act. When we see a person in need, we will help that person, and our kids see that. When we get upset with others or have an argument (as all parents do) we show them how to work through the issues and resolve it appropriately in front of them. All of our kids understand the meaning of integrity. We would often repeat this word and its meaning while sitting in the carpool line at drop off.

We would ask them, "What is integrity?"

They all say, "It is doing the right thing even when no one is looking."

We are planting and watering the seeds and pray that the seeds will grow into beautiful flowers!