How I’m Blending My Childhood Traditions With My Own Mom Era

Growing up as the child of a single mother, I watched my mom work miracles to create a magical Christmas each year. Now, as a single, co-parenting mother to a 12-year-old, I understand the pressure to give children the best holiday possible. I’m determined to create holiday magic for my daughter without exhausting myself or breaking the bank. Over time, I’ve developed strategies that combine cherished traditions from my childhood with my own parenting style. These tips can help you maintain your sanity while keeping the holiday spirit bright.

Simplify Tree Trimming

In my childhood, my father would bring my mom and me a fresh Christmas tree, leaving my mother to spend weeks cleaning up pine needles and untangling lights. I’ve simplified this tradition with a pre-lit synthetic tree that I can use year after year. If you prefer a classic Christmas aesthetic, this pre-lit 8-foot model has a traditional appeal.

For something more avant-garde, consider this stunning pink tree with soft white lights.

Don’t Break the Bank

My mom often stretched herself financially at Christmas, trying to compensate for our small family celebrations. While I want my daughter to enjoy her gifts, I refuse to overextend myself. With prices higher than ever, being mindful of your holiday spending is crucial. Calculate your holiday expenses now—food, childcare, gifts, travel, decorations—and plan how you intend to pay for everything. Avoid mindless credit card use that could lead to headaches later. Be realistic about what you can afford this season and make the most of it.

Set Expectations for Gift Giving

As a child, I usually received what I asked for during the holidays, but sometimes my wishes were beyond our means. I’m grateful my mother told me this upfront rather than letting me face Christmas morning disappointment. Setting clear gift expectations helps manage your child’s expectations and gives you more control over your holiday budget. If you can’t afford the expensive item your child wants, or if gifts will be more modest this year, have that conversation early. Gently explain what isn’t feasible right now. Ask your children to create wish lists with items you can realistically provide. For older kids (12+), consider setting a specific budget. Remind them that holidays are about gratitude and togetherness, not just receiving gifts.

Lean on Your Village 

I watched my mother handle everything with minimal help during my childhood. I’ve chosen a different path by learning to rely on my community. Find ways to support fellow parents during the busy season—such as watching a neighbor’s child while they shop, and then trading childcare when you need to run errands. Don’t hesitate to ask for specific help, like having a friend assist with decorating or a family member handle pre-party tasks. While people don’t always offer support unprompted, many are surprisingly willing to help when asked directly.

Co-Parent Thoughtfully

My childhood Christmases typically centered around my mother and me, with my dad visiting. My daughter’s experience is quite different—her father hosts his own family celebration, and I make sure she spends meaningful time with both of us. If you’re sharing your child’s holiday time, maintaining a peaceful relationship with your co-parent is essential. Communicate clearly about plans and stick to agreed schedules except in emergencies. Keep interactions cordial; your children likely sense any existing tension, but holiday celebrations shouldn’t be overshadowed by it. Coordinate gift-giving to avoid duplicates between households, which can lead to disappointment even if well-intended. Let your children express their feelings about splitting their time without criticism. Remember that your co-parent loves your children too and deserves holiday time with them. Most importantly, be gentle with yourself as you manage the emotions of being apart from your kids during the holidays.

Focus on the Reason for the Season

I admit that as a child, I focused more on presents than on the deeper meaning of Christmas. Remind your children—and yourself—that the true essence of the holidays doesn’t lie in expensive gifts or elaborate celebrations. The season is about connection, gratitude, and creating meaningful memories with loved ones. As you help your children shift away from materialistic expectations, take time to check in with yourself and possibly reset your own priorities. Focus on the simple joys that make this time of year special.

Prioritize Self-Care

Seeing my mother exhaust herself year after year inspired me to prioritize self-care in my approach to motherhood, especially during the holidays. While “self-care” is mentioned frequently, it doesn’t need to involve elaborate spa days or time off. Sometimes it’s just finding a few quiet moments to reconnect with yourself. During the holiday rush, I often pull out my HoMetics Foot Spa for a relaxing soak when stress builds. Find small pleasures that make the season enjoyable for you: play ’90s R&B instead of holiday music if that’s your preference, wear your coziest sweater for mall shopping trips, or treat yourself to favorite Christmas cookies from a local café. Even ten minutes of personal time daily can make an enormous difference. You absolutely deserve that space.