How to Get the Most Out of a Co-Parenting Relationship

Written By: Ambreia Meadows - Fernandez

If you feel overwhelmed at the prospect of co-parenting, you're not alone. The transition to co-parenting comes with a host of uncertainties and considerations. But thankfully, with clear communication and effort, most co-parenting relationships can grow into something beautiful.  If you want to improve your co-parenting relationship, these practical suggestions might help you start your journey on the right foot.

Be Flexible and Create a Family Calendar

It’s hard to keep track of conflicting schedules, engagements, and shared family time. Creating a family calendar is a practical solution for staying organized. Digital calendars like iCal and Google Calendar can bring some ease as you track schedules and responsibilities. It’s helpful to check in after adding information to the calendar to ensure that your co-parent is aware. Co-parents who maintain a friendly relationship might benefit from a weekly “schedule chat” to stay aligned. Regular updates about your children's activities, achievements, and challenges can help both parents stay informed and involved.

Keep Seeing Yourselves as a Unit

Children thrive in stable, predictable environments, but change is unavoidable. Co-parenting conditions might evolve, but remembering you are still a family, albeit differently structured, helps ease the transition. You can model this to your children by celebrating birthdays, milestones, and successes together. As you make time for family activities, you show your children that structural changes don’t sever the connection.

Maintaining a sense of unity involves compassion and respect, even during challenging times. It’s possible to address conflicts and frustrations while respecting each other's parenting styles. But always avoid speaking negatively about the other parent in front of your children.

Embrace Community and Self-Care

Community support is crucial in the co-parenting journey. When you have a network of trusted loved ones who can help you manage the demands of co-parenting, you're better prepared to have a place to vent and find accountability. (If possible, a family therapist or mediator is a great person to have on your team as you navigate these transitions. Expert support can help you feel less isolated and more confident in your co-parenting role.)

Reframing yourself as a vital part of a healthy co-parenting journey is immensely helpful, too. When you feel rested and cared for, you have more capacity to communicate your concerns with your co-parent and ensure your children receive the best that you have to offer. Don't feel guilty for using your time away from your child to meet needs you can't address while they're at home. Caring for yourself, finding community, and maintaining a life outside of family demands contribute to a healthier dynamic.