Is Mindfulness the Missing Piece in Your Parenting Journey?

Written By: Ambreia Meadows-Fernandez

If you’re struggling to heal the pain from your childhood as you practice intentional parenting, you're not alone.

We dedicate much time to building our children's confidence and preparing them for an unjust world. But we need more spaces offering the support we deserve. Trying to break old patterns with so few practical supports that consider our culture is overwhelming. 

The overwhelm we face makes developing our own well-being and healing strategies essential. Learning to remain present even in challenging moments—or practicing mindfulness—can make it easy to care for ourselves as we care for our children. 

Read on for a few important notes about mindfulness, its benefits, and how to incorporate it into your life.

What is mindfulness?

The American Psychological Association says mindfulness means awareness of our internal states and surroundings. Mindfulness has many benefits, but the most significant gift is learning to pause. Mindfulness isn't a short-term thing. It's a way of life and a practice of slowing down or stepping back to be fully present in a moment.

But we learn to interrupt harmful thoughts and habits when we observe our emotions without judgment. Being mindful can change our reaction from going off” on our loved ones to responding with grace and compassion, even when frustrated.  

How does it benefit us as people and as parents?

Research finds that mindfulness helps with many things, including—but not limited to— reduced rumination, stress reduction, and boosting working memory and focus. It also makes us less emotionally reactive, increases cognitive flexibility, and increases relationship satisfaction. Mindfulness is also a tool to combat racism-related stress. 

Any one of these skills helps us show up for ourselves and our loved ones, but they have enormous benefits for us as parents. It's so much easier to show up for our children when we’re less emotionally reactive and have better memory and focus. Mindfulness helps us engage with our children, listen, and respond instead of reacting in hard moments. With practice, these skills help us develop healthy relationships and model these behaviors for our children.

How can I incorporate more mindfulness into my life?

You're probably thinking All of this sounds great, but how do I do it?

Growing this skill takes practice, but you can find time in everyday moments. The beauty of mindfulness is that we can practice it in many ways. Formal practices like yoga, tai chi, and qigong can help you practice mindfulness.

Thankfully, organizations like Black Zen and Black Men Mediate, as well as podcast and YouTube resources, are made with Black folks in mind.

Here are some everyday activities you may find helpful:  

• Challenging themselves to interact with loved ones without multi-tasking on a phone or TV.

• Coloring with mindfulness coloring books

• Eating slowly and tasking all the flavors of your food

• Body scans

• Mediation

• Deep and slow breathing exercises.

Mindfulness doesn’t solve all problems, but it’s an excellent tool for slowing down and gaining perspective. 

Remember, when you show up for yourself, you show up for your kids. Be mindful of your needs—and add mindfulness to your life—and you’ll be better prepared to parent with self-love and intention.