Mother to Mother: Black Moms Share Generational Wisdom
This Mother’s Day, we spoke to three mothers in the 30s, 40s, and 60s, who shared their favorite traditions from mom that they have paid forward
When I was a little girl, the excitement that would race through my body when it was time for my mother to braid my hair. What style would we do today? Something reasonable with a dose of my own personal flavor. Afterwards, she would grease my scalp with thick grease from the plastic jar. It’s something I carry with me with my own daughter. I find it therapeutic and bonding when it’s time to sit her between my legs and get to braidin’.
I learned the tin cookie can on grandma’s stairs is the sewing kit from which I’d learn to sew. I was taught the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and how to cook a mean steak. I am like every other Black mom smiling back on childhood memories and lessons we learned from our mother. This Mother’s Day, we spoke to three mothers in the 30s, 40s, and 60s, who shared their favorite traditions from mom that they’ve started to implement with their children.
Veronica Wells, 37, Writer, Mom of 2
What is a beauty secret your mom passed down to you?
There are a lot of beauty secrets I’m sure my mom wishes I had picked up. Even today, in her seventies she’s more of a glamor girl than me. But one piece of advice that I remember and makes me laugh is that in order to wear bold lipstick colors, you need to keep your teeth white because those colors will highlight any discoloration.
What is something your mother taught you that applies to your life right now?
My mom was big on rest. She was always a nap girlie. She had rituals around rest. As a kid, I interpreted that as lazy or boring. As a teen, I was taking my own naps. And now, as a mother, I understand how essential rest is.
How have you implemented some of your mom’s beliefs into your own parenting beliefs?
My mom did a good job of seeing and hearing us. Whether it was fostering our interests or listening to our opinions, I see now how she tempered some of her natural reactions to be a safe space for me and my sister. That’s one of my biggest aspirations as a parent. I want my kids to be able to talk to me, when they’re excited, scared, uncomfortable, ashamed etc. I want to be a safe space. I may have already gone further with my children than what my mom would have allowed but still the idea and the example came from her.
Candi Panayotti, 41, Business Owner, Mom of 2
What is a beauty secret your mom passed down to you?
One beauty secret that my mom passed down that has been ever evolving in its uses the older I get is Cocoa butter… I would get it smeared on my face every morning before school and hated it now I keep a stash in every room of my house! I use it for everything with my own kids!
What is something your mother taught you that applies to your life right now?
My mother unknowingly taught me the importance of forgiveness and not dwelling on past hurts. How have you implemented some of your mom’s beliefs into your own parenting beliefs? I apply and implement it daily by apologizing when I should and teaching my children to speak their frustrations aloud or let it go. It will lead them to be more respectful and effective communicators into their adulthood.
Tanya Baptiste , 60, School District Administrator, Mom of 3
What is a beauty secret your mom passed down to you? My mom always stressed the importance of taking good care of your hair. As a young girl, we made regular visits to the “hair dresser.” She taught me to pay careful attention to what products were being used and the care being provided. She stressed never to let anyone “play in your hair.”
What is something your mother taught you that applies to your life right now? My mom has always been fiscally responsible, able to manage our household finances and make things “stretch” as she liked to call it. She taught me the value of “quality over quantity.” Yet, she always stressed, “Try not to live too far above your means and AlWAYS SAVE a little something on the side for a rainy day because trust me, it will rain.”
How have you implemented some of your mom’s beliefs into your own parenting beliefs? She allowed me to explore my interests and talents and stressed the importance of a good education and to aspire towards a profession. She was stern yet fair and incredibly loving. She pushed me and set high expectations. She didn’t expect perfection, but she did expect my best. These are definitely my core parenting beliefs that I have espoused in raising my own children – along with open communication and an active faith.
