Parents Need Love: New Times, New Approach - Sarah Lawson

While motherhood is no doubt rewarding, it can come with its own unique set of challenges and that’s something a DMV-based mom knows firsthand. Speech pathologist Sarah Lawson is a proud mom of two, 8-year-old Hannah and 12-year-old Jonah. Her precocious kids are full of energy and questions and it’s something she welcomes. The 36-year-old was raised similarly in an authoritative household where children had somewhat of a voice, and discipline was instilled by some corporal punishment but mostly “good old-fashioned shame.”

“I feel like my mom was very structured and very protective, almost controlling in a way, because my parents were so different,” Sarah tells ParentsNeedLove. “But they weren't the type of parents to play and by play, I mean even laugh and play around, they were disciplined themselves. “

Now Sarah has shared that she’s taken facets from her upbringing, but she’s modified it for her own household.

“I try to make a conscious effort to engage with my kids more on their level than I guess my mom and dad did,” says Sarah. “They were religious, of course, my dad was the Pastor so we spent a lot time in church and while I did get spankings when I was younger, my parents never spanked out of anger. That too was very structured and they would say, ‘It's time for a spanking. I'll be upstairs in a minute.’ That type of thing.”

She also told ParentsNeedLove that her parenting style varies from that of her parents because the age gap between her and her children isn’t as vast as the one between her and her parents. The Hampton U grad’s father was born in 1948, her mom in 1955. By contrast, Sarah was born in 1987 and had her first child, Jonah, at age 25.

“My mom and dad talked to me, but I felt like there was just such a gap in age that there was disconnect,” Sarah tells ParentsNeedLove. “We all say that our parents can't relate, but they really couldn't. It was just completely different. I feel like I try to stay more current [with my children], I try to know what they know and be more open.”

The mom also shared that she also apologizes to her children if she feels it’s owed and admittedly lets them in to some, but not all, “grown folks business.”

“They do have a lot more access to me and all my faults,” says Sarah. “A lot of the drama that's happened in my life, they've had a front-row seat to it whereas with my parents that wasn’t the case and they really kept it separate. To an extent, that’s a good thing because kids shouldn't be exposed to everything, but I think I would've had a much better perspective on real life if my mom had explained some of those things to me,” she adds. “Once I grew up, I had “questions like, ‘Mom, how come this? And how come that?’”

“My mom talks to me a little bit more about it now but I feel like in my preteen years or my teen years, it would've been nice to see that my mom does cry, or my mom does get angry with my dad.

I went into adulthood pretty green and those are a couple of things that I'm just trying to rectify through my kids.”

In addition to speaking on her parenting style, Sarah noted while she gets far more sleep than her peers who have infants, she’s feeling the strain of raising her preteen, Jonah, in particular.

The mom told ParentsNeedLove that she’s spoken with fellow parents who agree that the preteen years are difficult, but she admittedly wonders if other things like pre-pubescent hormones and the ramifications of her divorce are at play.

“The biggest challenge I think right now is my 12-year-old,” shares Sarah. “I try to think that it's just a phase at his age, but there may be some other variables at play too. Like is it the type of relationship he has with his dad? Is it some of the things that he went through with divorce, or not having his father in the home? I don't know if that exacerbates it.”

She continues,

“He’s starting to have these feelings, hormones, he’s starting to like girls, all of the things are coming into play. I'll even say he's struggling with those transitions from school to home.

“I feel like I even as an adult can have days where I struggle to transition from work to home and I think at his age, that's a huge thing. He'll have a great day at school, but then he gets home with me and I think it's like he lets it go. I am the target of a lot of his frustration,” she adds.

Despite admittedly having difficulties, the matriarch tells ParentsNeedLove that she sees her children as a worthy investment because of the unconditional love shared between them. The mom to some“pretty cool” kids basks in the fun times they share and the heartfelt bond between them.

“It's a very amazing type of love,” says Sarah. “I feel like with your kids, they're just an extension of you. You don't feel that disconnect. You try your best to make them great human beings and you have this very close bond. You love people, you love your parents, you love your friends, you love your spouses. But there’s something just so different about loving your kids.”