Please Don’t Judge Me: Anonymous Confessions About Pregnancy and Parenting

Once the doctors place that slippery baby on your chest, we have a tendency to forget all of the moments that made it possible. The morning sickness, the discomfort, the irritability. Even the arduous labor you just endured becomes an afterthought. All of the gratitude may mean when we recount the stories of pregnancies, we leave out some of the more gruesome details. But in the effort of transparency, truth, and memory, we spoke to moms and dads to get the real tea about what it means to carry and birth a child. Check out their raw, unfiltered, and completely anonymous stories below.

Everyone’s in Your Business

Mom, 35 — First child, still expecting

“I was caught off guard when I started showing. I popped overnight, and that brought on a wave of gleeful strangers. I’m a bit of an introvert and tend to mask behind a resting bitch face, but apparently, a baby bump and the so-called pregnancy glow canceled that out. I went from wearing my invisibility cloak to feeling like I had a neon sign that said, Ask me about the most intimate parts of my life. That was a huge adjustment. I know most people mean well, but the ‘Are you sure it’s not twins?’ and ‘What are you having?’ or ‘When are you due?’ comments can be draining—especially for someone like me.

One of the most unexpected physical changes was the gas, and not just regular gas, but trapped gas. I didn’t even know that was a thing until I spent a week in misery and ended up asking ChatGPT if I could die from it. Gas-X, yoga, position changes, massages… nothing worked. I even considered using the Frida Windi on myself at one point.

I was also surprised by the pelvic pain and pressure. I expected heaviness in the sense of a belly feeling like a backpack worn on the front. But the pulling sensation and internal pressure—especially in the later stages—felt strange. I tried a belly band, but baby hated it: kicking, rolling, punching the entire time I wore it. It was weird but also kind of fascinating…

…Which brings me to the last point. I didn’t expect to be so deeply in love with someone I haven’t even met. I feel like I’ve known this baby my whole life. I can sense what calms them, what agitates them. I can almost imagine their face. My heart is so full as I anxiously wait for baby’s arrival.”

Things Can Get Messy

Mom, 37 — Two children, 1 year and 4 years old

My second pregnancy was nothing like my first. The only symptom of my first pregnancy was that I couldn’t stand the taste of water for a few weeks. With my second, I was miserable during that first trimester. Everything and everyone got on my nerves. The smell of foods I’d once loved made me nauseated and irritated. And then there was the poop.

One day, I decided to take my then two-year-old son to the park. I fed him and myself and walked out into the hot sun to give him some fresh air. Ten minutes after we got there, I realized I had to use the bathroom. But we’d just gotten there and I didn’t want to deprive my toddler, so I tried to hold it. I didn’t know that this pregnancy would mean holding it was no longer an option. Sadly, I came to this realization too late.

I threw my son in his stroller and started to make my way home. But with each step, poop started exiting my body and sliding down my leg. So gross, so humbling. That five-minute walk home was one to remember.

Labor Takes Time + Bonding Can Be A Challenge

Dad, 33 — One child, 9 months

“It’s ironic because literally we were at the baby shower and [my wife’s] homegirl was like, ‘They don’t talk about this but girl, you know it’s on and popping when you take a shit and throwing up at the same time.’ She just told us. If she didn’t tell me that, I would have really been freaking out.

We didn’t have our baby until Monday, but my wife went into labor on Friday. Our doula at the time told us we didn’t have to rush to the hospital. My wife didn’t even call and tell nobody. Her water broke on Friday. She tried to go to work on Saturday. She went to brunch. Having a time! I’m like, ‘You’re about to have a baby!’ She just threw a pad on; she’s constantly leaking. That was crazy. I never knew that’s how it went. I thought it was just a splash and stuff just start hitting the fan. But it’s a whole process, a build-up.”

Additionally…

“Also, a challenge I had never considered—but found myself experiencing—was bonding with my daughter. When she first arrived, she wanted her mother—only. This created tension in our house because I felt unable to support my wife in the way she needed and deserved. She always had to be present—especially for feedings and bedtime—since our daughter was breastfeeding and hadn’t adapted to the bottle.

It also made me feel undesired by my child. I wanted her to feel safe and comfortable with me immediately and I hadn’t anticipated that she might not feel instantly connected to me. It took time—but eventually, our bond developed naturally. That moment felt celebratory for me.”

You’re Seeing Things

Mom, 35 — One child, 2 years old

My midwife warned me to write down everyone’s number who said they would help because if you don’t get enough sleep, you’re going to start hallucinating. And there were a few times when I got there.

Mom, 37 — Two children, 4 and 1 years old

I had a hallucination in the hospital. When my daughter was born, she looked so much like my sister. One time I looked at her before I picked her up to nurse, and I really thought I was feeding my little sister.