Parents Need Love: Motherhood on My Terms - LaKeisha Randall

Written By: Dani Canada

LaKeisha Randall, Esq. approached motherhood without preconceived notions, but not without experience. The Atlanta-based attorney already had two godchildren before the birth of her daughter, Zuri, and she credits that parenting journey with preparing her baby girl’s addition.

“Essentially, I saw myself as a mother before I birthed this child,” says LaKeisha. “I don’t see myself as beginning to mother by birthing my daughter, but it's a different type of motherhood.”

“I’ve been mothering for most of my adult life,” she adds. “It's just my first biological child. Generally speaking, I think we've all been mothering in some ways if you're active in the life of children.”

LaKeisha’s unique perspective allowed her to recognize that motherhood encompasses various forms and roles, and now as her 10-month-old daughter continues to grow, LaKeisha’s allowed her parenting style to mirror that of the mothering she does with her godchildren.

The mom of three is adamant that because life is not promised, having unique experiences with her offspring is important and she’s purposeful about making moments count.

I'm very intentional,”she gushes about the moments she shares with her goddaughter, 16, and godson, 12. “I’m intentional about the things I expose them to, I’m intentional about my word choice. I’m intentional about creating memories and taking pictures with them.”

Zuri’s mom isn’t just intentional, she’s headstrong and she told ParentsNeedLove that during her pregnancy she tuned out the noise of parenting advice. Why? Well, because while many moms are well-intending, LaKeisha recognized that motherhood journeys vary and she did not want hers overshadowed by external opinions.

“I was just curious about motherhood, about my daughter and our relationship, so I went into it curiously,” she admits. “[I wondered], ‘How is her voice going to sound? What’s going to make her smile?’ That kind of thing. And I intentionally tried to avoid some of the unsolicited advice from other mothers, because I know it comes through their lens, and we have different journeys.

Now rearing her child through her own perspective, this mom is using the connected parenting style to focus on building a strong relationship with Zuri, one that’s rooted in respect.

“With connected parenting, the goal is our loving bond,” she explains. “The goal is to have a strong and safe bond over time, build emotional resilience, experience her with empathy, and bring out the best in her. But as a womanist, I also encourage her to just test out new things. Long term, I want her to be courageous and adventurous so I allow her to safely explore.

“You might have even seen this in my [social media] videos. My baby isn’t even one years old yet, but I'll say, ‘May I help you?’ because I want her to know that she can have boundaries. I want her to know about independence. Maybe she doesn't want my help right now, maybe she wants to try it herself.”

She adds that she encourages her daughter to use her throat chakra and test out different sounds because she believes Zuri’s voice, tiny as it may be, matters.

“If she screams, I'm not like, ‘Oh, hush all that noise!’ I'm like, ‘Oh, good job testing your range of voice, range of thoughts.’ I encourage her to just test out new things. “

“So if I need to be firm with her, I'll be firm with her,” she adds noting that she allows her child to safely explore. “But I also feel like to grow appropriately you have to have room to try different things.”

In exploring motherhood for herself, LaKeisha shares that she’s gained a renewed look at life thanks to seeing things through Zuri’s eyes.

“I think it's kind of beautiful just to see the world in different ways,” she excitedly explains. “For example, I'm an outdoor person. I love hiking and I love yoga and remember my first time taking her on a hike, she was just so enamored with tall trees and when the wind would blow, she would just light up. And I'm like, ‘Wow, sometimes we get so busy as adults, we don't slow down.’”

“That’s God's beauty and we pass it every day but her first time seeing a tall tree, it was like a light went off that you could not deny,” she adds. “I think it’s so beautiful to have the opportunity to see the world in a different way.”