Parents Need Love

She’s Ready to Move In, But My Children Are Not Ready – So Now What?

freewarren — Wed, 19 Nov 2025 16:00:00 +0000

There are so many aspects of life as an adult that challenge us and test our character. Raising children is at the top of that list. Navigating romantic relationships is on that list too. Trying to find and meld lifestyles with another person is no easy feat. So imagine the difficulty that can arise when parents start dating.

One father brought his dating dilemma to Threads and it went viral, sparking all types of opinions about how he should have handled this conundrum.

The man wrote, “My wife died 6 years ago, when my daughter was 10 and my son was 8. It was devastating for all of us.” The man shared that with his late wife’s life insurance, he was able to pay off the mortgage on the home they shared and deposited the rest into a savings account for his children.

After a while, his friends encouraged him to start dating again. Over a year ago, he met Laine. The two embarked on a relationship and things got serious. Recently, Laine told the father and widower that she wanted their children to meet one another and move in together.

“I am not ready for this,” the father explained. “Mostly due to the fact I don’t want my kids to lose their home and stability. They are both teenagers now and really attached to the home. It cannot house Laine’s kids unless they share rooms and I don’t want them to have to do it. I told this to Laine.”

Laine suggested buying or renting a new home that could comfortably house everyone. While the father could see the logic in the plan, he still didn’t want to have to uproot his children by asking them to leave their childhood home. He also mentioned that he wouldn’t have the money to put a down payment on a new home.

Laine admitted she thought he would sell the existing house for that.

The dad claimed that this is not an option. “I would either live there till I die and leave it to my kids, or move out and buy another home but still leave the house to the kids. To me it’s simple. Their mom paid the majority of the house, when she was alive and through her life insurance. I cannot sell it.”

As a form of compromise, the father asked that Laine wait four years until his youngest child is 18 years old. But Laine is not okay with that. She thinks he’s being unreasonable for asking her to put her life on hold.

“I apologized to her but made it clear my kids come first, and it is their home. So those are non-negotiable.”

We spoke to matchmaker and dating coach Juanita Brown to get her thoughts on this situation—and others like it—in an effort to help parents navigate the timing of merging lives when they have kids.

“Moving in together should only happen when both partners are financially stable, emotionally mature, and have taken the time to meet and build rapport with each other’s children,” Brown said. “Combining households isn’t just about love—it’s about lifestyle compatibility, structure, and shared values. It’s important to ask yourself, ‘Is this move going to strengthen my family as a whole?’ because blending homes means blending lives.”

Like the father who shared his story, considerations about how a child may be affected by the move are important. Brown suggested that all parties have open communication about how the change will affect the children who will be asked to move.

Lastly, we asked Brown if it is fair to ask romantic partners to wait while their children reach a certain age.

“Absolutely, there’s nothing wrong with protecting your peace or prioritizing your children’s emotional well-being,” Brown said. “Being honest about your circumstances gives the other person a choice so they can decide whether they’re willing to wait or pursue something different. Dating as a parent should be intentional. You should only date when you’re emotionally available and ready, not because society makes you feel like you should be with someone.”

Mama’s Playbook: Red Flags I’ll Tell My Daughter to Watch Out for When Dating

freewarren — Wed, 05 Nov 2025 16:00:00 +0000

The women in my family did a decent job of preparing me for the shenanigans I might encounter dating boys and eventually men. There were the extremes from my grandmother’s generation — leave them alone, all men are liars. My mom balanced it out a bit better. While she was always supportive about my little crushes, over time she was also the one to reveal the potential problems that could arise with matters of the heart: mainly verbal, physical abuse, and cheating. But my own experiences showed me that there are a lot of issues outside of those glaring ones. I have a daughter of my own now. And even though she’s just a toddler, I’m already thinking about how I want to elevate that teaching to reflect some of the things me, my friends, and society have shown me about the pitfalls of dating.

Negging
There’s a difference between playful joking and taking every opportunity to belittle someone. And if you ask me, that comes when two people have already established a level of trust and rapport with one another. In the beginning, a potential love interest should be doing their best to show you that they see your value. Anyone who leads with little insults or constant critique is trying to chip away at your self-esteem. Flag on the play.

Not Clear
When you find yourself with more questions than answers, there’s truly only one conclusion: the relationship is not going to work long-term. For teenagers and young adults, that’s not necessarily a problem. Dating is about learning yourself and what you’ll tolerate. But if you get to the point where you know you want more of a serious commitment or even some level of stability in your relationship, ambiguity has got to go.

Wayward
If my daughter is anything like her father, myself, and so many of her family members, she’ll be an ambitious girlie. I want to warn her against partnering with people who may not want as much for themselves. I’m not talking about having money or other material possessions. I mean people who don’t have dreams or goals for themselves or lack a sense of direction in terms of executing those dreams. Not only will this present a problem in their individual lives, it can be extremely problematic in the relationship itself. They won’t understand her goals, and their wayward nature could be a hurdle for her achieving them.

Has Respect for Women
A lot of women find value in being an exception to someone else’s rule. They notice how their partner treated their exes and assume they will somehow be different. Nah. You want to be with someone who has a track record of being a kind and decent person, even if the relationship didn’t work out. Furthermore, whether my daughter dates a man, woman, or nonbinary individual, I want her to see that the person respects women outside of what they can offer in romantic relationships. A person who doesn’t have a baseline respect for all women will eventually turn that vitriol on you.

Is Competing With You
Brené Brown warned her children about “candle blower outers.” I want to share this concept with my kids. Whether it’s family, friends, or romantic partners, avoid anyone who seeks to dim your light. If you leave an interaction with someone and feel inferior or insecure, this is not someone you need in your life—especially as a romantic partner. Relationships where one or both parties are competing can turn ugly really quickly.

Nonchalant
We don’t want anything in extremes. While you don’t need someone who is so obsessed with you they don’t want you to have space or me-time, you also don’t need someone too cool for school. A person who acts like they can take or leave you is either playing a sick game or isn’t acting at all. Either way, you want someone to show their interest—or make room for someone who will.

In House Sneaky Link: How to Rebuild the Intimacy with Your Partner

freewarren — Fri, 15 Aug 2025 15:00:00 +0000

While becoming parents can heighten the love you feel for your partner, nothing puts strain on a relationship like prioritizing the needs of a mostly helpless human being. One of the greatest struggles and transitions a couple can go through is embarking on a parenting journey. You’re losing sleep, freedom, and sometimes your identity. In the midst of all this change, you just might find that your romantic relationship suffers as well. Maybe after running around with the kids, you don’t have the time or energy to get cute and go out on dates. Perhaps your kids cling to you so heavily throughout the day that the thought of someone else touching you makes your skin crawl. If you’re looking for ways to reignite the spark and regain some of the intimacy you may have lost, here are a few suggestions.

Take a Ride

If your kids are in a phase where they can’t seem to do anything without you, wait till right around bedtime. Bathe them, put them in their pajamas, and then strap them into their car seats. The car ride will knock them right out. While they’re sleeping in the back, it’s time for you and your boo to have a little mobile date night. Grab your favorite snacks, pull up to a scenic spot—perhaps on the water—and press play on the playlist. After a long day with the kids, you can enjoy some adult conversation or sit in silence and just vibe.

Be a Kid Again

Being a full-time caregiver can make you forget to nurture your own inner child. That part of you still needs to be fed. Why not invite your partner to play along with you? It could be the two of you playing board games, singing karaoke in the living room, or launching into an all-out tickle fight. Viola Davis and her husband, the parents to a teen daughter, swear by that one. We’re not mad at it.

Movie Night

Instead of watching someone else’s story unfold on your living room screen, take a trip down memory lane with your own pictures and videos. Rewatch your wedding day, relive your first date, reminisce about the first picture you ever took together and the moments that led to the relationship that created the kids in the first place.

Play a Game

If you and your partner have become exceptionally distant and don’t even know where to begin when it comes to reestablishing your intimacy, use the help of a question-and-answer game. Sexologist Shamyra Howard has a great relationship conversation starter game called Use Your Mouth that will help get you where you need to go—in more ways than one.

Try a New Spot

Kids aren’t the best at sleeping alone. Whether they’re waking up every two hours or crawling into your bed in the middle of the night, the unpredictability can make the frequency of sexy time a little more difficult. So you might have to get creative. Try getting it in during the morning or afternoon instead of waiting until the evening when everyone is exhausted. If your bed has been taken over, try another room, a large closet, or even the living room if you really need the comfort. If a quickie will do, the bathroom could work as well. Open your mind to the unorthodox, and you just might be surprised how the new locale can help reinvigorate your relationship.

How to Date When You’re a Mother

freewarren — Sat, 19 Jul 2025 07:23:14 +0000

Love Island has been appointment television this summer. The show places twenty-somethings in the equivalent of a Fijian summer camp as they try to develop romantic connections with their fellow castmates. Huda Mustafa, a 24-year-old fitness influencer, is easily this season’s most polarizing figure. She came into the show with a secret — she was a mommy, mom, mamacita to a 5-year-old daughter. Huda told the other women on the show about her child but decided that she would withhold this information from Jeremiah, the first man she developed a connection with on the show. She reasoned that she wanted to save that information until he really liked her. For the audience, this was one of the first red flags.

Other single mothers looking to date could learn a few things from Huda — even if they’re what not to do.

Don’t Be Ashamed

Sadly, society makes a habit of shaming all types of mothers. That judgment is even more severe when it comes to women who are doing it without a male partner. In a world full of critics and naysayers, single mothers may find themselves so concerned with the opinions of others, they internalize some of that shame. As another Love Island cast member, Chelley, told Huda: wear being a single mother like the badge of honor that it is.

Other single mothers looking to date could learn a few things from Huda — even if they’re what not to do.

Don’t Be Ashamed

Be Honest About the Fact You Have Children

Hiding the existence of your children from a potential partner is deceitful manipulation. Hoping that they’ll like you enough to go against their own preferences for a relationship is not healthy. Any person who doesn’t want to date someone with children is not the person for you. The children aren’t going anywhere. You need to know immediately if your romantic prospects are willing to join you on this journey. If they’re not, they’re not for you.

Make Sure You’re Ready

We all know single mothers who wouldn’t dream of dating while their children were still in the home. Maybe they were afraid of introducing their children to someone new. Perhaps the demands of parenthood made it too hard to prioritize themselves. Being a parent is a spiritual path, and it’s understandable if you need to focus all of your energies on the lessons it teaches before you open yourself up to the dating pool. On the flip side, many of us have seen parents who place too much of their self-esteem in having a partner — to the detriment of their children.

Introduce on Your Timeline

One of the biggest questions parents have about dating is when they should introduce their children to the people they’re dating. Some argue that you should protect your children and shield them from too many new people. Others argue that you should arrange for a meeting early, because if there is a glaring issue, you don’t want to have developed serious feelings just to end the relationship.

Keep Co-Parents Informed

Your child’s other parent has the right to know the people who will be around their child. Before you introduce your child to your new boo, make sure your co-parent has had a conversation with this person so they can share any concerns they may have. This way, you can avoid conflict and set the foundation for building a proper blended family — if it gets to that point.

Be Honest About the Fact You Have Children

Make Sure You’re Ready

Introduce on Your Timeline

Keep Co-Parents Informed

Pop’s POV: Two Parents Equals Two Perspectives – Here’s How Compromise Can Boost Emotional Wellness

freewarren — Fri, 11 Jul 2025 15:19:00 +0000

There’s a saying that there are two sides to the story — and the truth. Well, in parenthood, there are two perspectives — possibly differing — and the compromise needed to provide a balanced approach to parenting children. In instances of discord due to different parenting styles, it is important to regulate yourself mentally and evaluate your feelings. Frustration and anxiety are almost guaranteed to make their presence known and felt, but you cannot allow those emotions to become the star of the show. It is imperative that you remember that it is you and your partner against the issue — not one another. You are both equipped with the tools necessary to navigate this space and find a healthy resolution.

My wife and I have two totally different approaches when it comes to parenting our children. I am from the wheelhouse of “prevention is better than cure,” whereas my wife is from the wheelhouse of “advise them, and if they do not listen, they will learn by consequence.” You can only imagine what our day-to-day home life is like with a toddler. Toddlers have unrefined motor skills — meaning that they lack polished coordination and precision in physical movement in comparison to older children or adults. If you aren’t aware, toddlers are cute and warm but are fueled by chaos and curiosity!

“Get down,” “please don’t touch that,” “get down,” “don’t climb up there,” “is this a big deal or a little deal,” “don’t put that in your mouth,” “what is in your hand,” “get down!” — this is the broken record on repeat when living with and raising the fearless and inquisitive beings known as toddlers.

Over the past weekend, my wife and I found ourselves in disagreement as a direct result of our differing parenting styles. My two-year-old daughter, Jackson, has a tendency to mirror our behavior in how we engage with her four-month-old brother, Jameison — whether it be us playing with him, showing him love, or even feeding him. Keep in mind, the mirrored behavior lacks refined motor skills, so her actions much of the time appear a lot more chaotic or rough.

Parenting from my perspective in this scenario sends me into a state of hypervigilance and prompts me to instruct her to stop, being that I do not want her to hurt him.

Whereas parenting from my wife’s perspective in this same scenario presents an opportunity for teaching and refining those motor skills — even redirecting Jackson to engage in a manner that promotes greater control and safety, while being careful not to compromise her confidence and eagerness to interact with her brother.

In retrospect, my initial outlook had the potential to be harmful to Jackson, in the way that it may discourage her willingness to grow her bond and show love to her brother.

Spoiler alert! In the spirit of honesty and transparency, I did not come to this conclusion at that moment — nor did I reach it on my own. Initially, I felt as if my perspective was the right perspective. Although, looking back, I was naïve and stubborn to my own detriment — and potentially that of my children — for not being willing to consider another approach.

However, he who finds a wife finds a good thing! That’s in the Word, the text, the GOOD BOOK! If you know, you know.

Here are five resources to assist in determining and cultivating your parenting style:

The Parenting Buffet: The Ultimate Guide to Choosing Your Unique Parenting Style for Raising Calm, Confident, Resilient, and Happy Children in a Busy World

Jenna Benton offers a fresh, customizable approach to parenting, so you can ditch the stress of “getting it perfect” and stay honed in on what works best for your family.

Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool (The ParentData Series)

Emily Oster utilizes data to show parents how to think through freighted questions — like if and how to go back to work, how to think about toddler discipline, and how to have a relationship and parent at the same time.

How We Love Our Kids: The Five Love Styles of Parenting

Milan and Kay Yerkovich offer a unique approach to help parents transform their kids by making specific changes in how they love. It’s the only book specifically for parents that reveals the unseen forces that shape every interaction with your kids.

New Parent Relationship Kit: 260 Conversation & Activity Cards for New Parents | Check-in Prompts, Deep Dive Questions, Bonding Activities, & Task Cards | Ages 18+

This 4-part kit encourages meaningful conversations and bonding activities to help new parents stay connected as they navigate big life changes.

Parenting Styles Unleashed: A Modern Guide for Improved Family Dynamics

Steeped in attachment and emotion-focused therapy, applied by Paul Buckley during decades of clinical practice, Parenting Styles Unleashed strikes a faceted balance of confidence, humor, and pragmatic outcomes in parenting styles.

The Drop Off: A Michigan Love Story

freewarren — Tue, 17 Jun 2025 23:49:53 +0000

Parenthood doesn’t come with a blueprint. It looks different for everyone, but if there’s one thing we can agree on, it is all-consuming. And if you don’t prioritize your mental health, it will affect how you parent.

The old phrase “it takes a village to raise a child,” captures it best. Because when mommy or daddy need a break, together or apart, having a reliable sitter to drop off the kids is essential. Ann Arbor, Michigan native Melissa Hansberry knows the importance of the drop-off and taking time to decompress.

Melissa met her husband at their alma mater Clark Atlanta where they built the foundation of their relationship brick by brick. They both enjoy traveling and after graduation, they decorated their passports with stamps from over 10 countries. But it was the charm of Michigan, that made it undeniable where they would have to get married.

The restaurant where they wed is different now, but in a full circle moment, Melissa revisits the place they took their vows for an intimate dinner.

“We had dinner at the restaurant where we were married nine years ago. It’s just a special place for me because it’s where I grew up. It’s my home.”

Where To Go After You’ve Dropped Off The Kids

In her free time, Melissa likes to shop, catch a movie, visit the spa or stop by the local eateries for all of the Michigan must-haves. It’s a form of self-care for the loving mother. During our candid convo, she recommended a few spots that are more than enough to make anyone pack up and visit Michigan.

Puffer Reds

If you believe in retail therapy and are a self-proclaimed sneaker head, Puffer Reds, in Ypsilanti, will be the ultimate shopping destination for you. You’ll be ahead of the trends with the newest and hottest gear found at this local Black-owned gem. Between their unique kicks and swagged out apparel, these fab finds are irresistible purchases.

Bloom Wellness Spa

Treat yourself to The Bloom Wellness Spa in Ann Arbor where relaxation meets luxury. Because what better way is there to relax after dropping off the kids than the spa?

For Melissa, slowing down and “not feeling like everything is in a rush or everything has to get done” brings relief. “Sometimes there’s fun and excitement in having nothing to do,” she added. Which is why she loves visiting the spa with hubby. And Ann Arbor’s Bloom Wellness has a unique touch that makes all other places unable to compete. From their phenomenal massages to deprivation tank that lets your drift into peace and stillness, it’s the perfect place to quiet the mind and relax the body.

ZANA

Drop off the kids and prepare for a night out. Good eats meet good vibes at the swanky Zana restaurant in Birmingham, MI. With a robust drink menu, led by award-winning Mad Mixologist Anthony Escalante, you’ll be transported to a romantic scene under mood lighting and pleasing aesthetic. Chef Benjamin Zemach sprinkled his signature flavor on the savory American menu with European flair. This location is even more special for Melissa, as this is where she was married. The venue space was converted to this delicious haven, but maintained the private space in the back where Melissa and hubby shared their vows.

A Few Honorable Mentions

Zingerman’s

“I know what you’re thinking. I didn’t drop off the kids to get a deli sandwich. But oh, the contrary, peacefully eating a delicious sub without interruption is indeed self-care,” Melissa insists. Zingerman’s doesn’t make just any sandwiches; they make headlines with their delicious eats. This historic and award-winning Delicatessen is a fixture in the community drawing the attention from foodies near and far.

According to Melissa, “It’s really flavorful and the kind of destination that people come from all over the state to get. It’s one of the most famous places to eat.”

Gallup Park

Michigan is full of serene green areas like Gallup Park to catch up on some quiet time while the kids are away. This popular Ann Arbor recreation area is located on the Huron River and Geddes Pond, and bridges other small islands via scenic walkways. Reconnect with nature and yourself along one of the mile long trails perfect for walking, running, jogging or roller blading.

Veteran’s Memorial Park

Day dates with yourself or your partner are needed. Whether you’re visiting alone or with a loved one, Veteran’s Memorial Park is a local attraction that draws in thousands of people for a glimpse at its breathtaking fountains. On the other end of the park, you can pay respects to those who served the country at one of the memorials on the other end.

While Michigan is home for Melissa, she advocates it to be somewhere that everyone should experience. “It creates a charm, synergy, and just lasting impact on your heart. Whether the history, the sites or hidden gems it can bring out such a great mood.”

A Reflective Reset

Melissa is able to lean on her partner and vice versa – and while they prioritize alone time, quality time helps them both function as better parents.

“Making time for each other is still top priority. We don’t skip over that. It was us before it was, us with our daughter. And do not mean that in a way that’s disrespectful to our child, but just in a way that’s kind of like when we make time for our marriage and our relationship then we do so much better as a family and we’re so much happier as a family.”

Being on the same page has allowed Melissa and her husband’s marriage to thrive.

“If I’m neglecting my self-care or if my husband is, we can tell it by our attitudes – by how we respond to one another, by our communication, by how we’re getting along. Like, he can tell, if I’m more irritable, I’m irritable with [our daughter] I’m more just combative,” she explained.

“That time for us to recharge just makes us get on the same page. It not only helps our relationship, but I think it helps us be better parents and be on the same page about how we parent her.”

Tavia Mapp-Deterville Motherly Love Is Unconditional

freewarren — Tue, 20 May 2025 20:53:48 +0000

Tavia Mapp-Deterville had a gut feeling about her youngest child Hunter. According to the mom of two, her son’s play habits were different. ”All the kids his age were really talking and playing with each other and he had no interest,” she explained. Combined with “terrible tantrums” and delayed speech, she soon learned Hunter was autistic.

Motherhood has been a journey for Tavia. The boutique Public Relations Agency owner had her first child at 17. “I was single, still navigating graduating high school, trying to figure out who I was as a teenage mom and as a person, helping my mom raise my sisters, and relying on family for support. All of this came with the challenge of choosing not to go away to college and immediately having to work and attain childcare.”

Those days are long gone. Now 35, the loving mom, wife and businesswoman, is in a solid relationship, is financially stable, and has a clearer sense of self.

“My daughter grew up with me,” she expressed, “I often regret not being the mom to her that I am to Hunter. Hunter has two involved present parents and my daughter never had that. Despite it, she is an amazing sister. College graduate, gainfully employed, living on her own, great friend and person. I am the proudest of my children. My biggest accomplishments to date.”

Hunter, now 10, was diagnosed with autism at 3-years-old. ”It was a fight and costly.” Autism tests can range from $1,200 to $5,000 without insurance. But Tavia made it happen, says reports. But that was only half the battle. “I then had to wait for months to get the results.”

Hunter’s diagnosis made him eligible to receive services from OPWDD and the DOE, such as speech and OT therapy at school.

In the Black community it is especially prevalent to label a child “special” but avoid actual diagnosis, Tavia shared some signs all parents can look out for.

“While signs and symptoms differ amongst children, echolalia or repeating words or phrases, extreme distress to change, meltdowns, and making friends.”

With autism being recognized on mainstream levels, more awareness about the neurodevelopmental condition makes it easier to understand. A major misconception Tavia says about autism is the belief people with autism aren’t smart.

“Hunter loves numbers and math and literally score better than most kids his age. On his 3rd grade State Math exam, he was 4 points away from a perfect score. Also, early intervention is important for kids especially those not high on the spectrum. Don’t ignore the signs. Get your child tested.”

It’s important to teach tolerance and understanding at a young age so child can develop interpersonal skills with all types of children.

“Parents can teach their children about other children with autism by first fostering an open and respectful environment where differences are embraced. Start by explaining what autism is in simple terms, focusing on how it might affect someone’s behavior or communication but emphasizing that every person, regardless of differences, deserves kindness and respect. Use real-life examples, stories, or videos featuring children with autism to help illustrate how individuals may experience the world differently. Encourage empathy by talking about how it might feel to face challenges in communication or social situations. Teach inclusive behaviors, such as patience and understanding, and explain how their peers with autism may need extra support or space at times. Lastly, encourage your child to ask questions and show curiosity, reinforcing the value of kindness and acceptance toward everyone, no matter their abilities.”

Mother to Mother: Black Moms Share Generational Wisdom

freewarren — Thu, 08 May 2025 01:08:07 +0000

When I was a little girl, the excitement that would race through my body when it was time for my mother to braid my hair. What style would we do today? Something reasonable with a dose of my own personal flavor. Afterwards, she would grease my scalp with thick grease from the plastic jar. It’s something I carry with me with my own daughter. I find it therapeutic and bonding when it’s time to sit her between my legs and get to braidin’.

I learned the tin cookie can on grandma’s stairs is the sewing kit from which I’d learn to sew. I was taught the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and how to cook a mean steak. I am like every other Black mom smiling back on childhood memories and lessons we learned from our mother. This Mother’s Day, we spoke to three mothers in the 30s, 40s, and 60s, who shared their favorite traditions from mom that they’ve started to implement with their children.

Veronica Wells, 37, Writer, Mom of 2

What is a beauty secret your mom passed down to you?

There are a lot of beauty secrets I’m sure my mom wishes I had picked up. Even today, in her seventies she’s more of a glamor girl than me. But one piece of advice that I remember and makes me laugh is that in order to wear bold lipstick colors, you need to keep your teeth white because those colors will highlight any discoloration.

What is something your mother taught you that applies to your life right now?

My mom was big on rest. She was always a nap girlie. She had rituals around rest. As a kid, I interpreted that as lazy or boring. As a teen, I was taking my own naps. And now, as a mother, I understand how essential rest is.

How have you implemented some of your mom’s beliefs into your own parenting beliefs?

My mom did a good job of seeing and hearing us. Whether it was fostering our interests or listening to our opinions, I see now how she tempered some of her natural reactions to be a safe space for me and my sister. That’s one of my biggest aspirations as a parent. I want my kids to be able to talk to me, when they’re excited, scared, uncomfortable, ashamed etc. I want to be a safe space. I may have already gone further with my children than what my mom would have allowed but still the idea and the example came from her.

Candi Panayotti, 41, Business Owner, Mom of 2

What is a beauty secret your mom passed down to you?

One beauty secret that my mom passed down that has been ever evolving in its uses the older I get is Cocoa butter… I would get it smeared on my face every morning before school and hated it now I keep a stash in every room of my house! I use it for everything with my own kids!

What is something your mother taught you that applies to your life right now?

My mother unknowingly taught me the importance of forgiveness and not dwelling on past hurts. How have you implemented some of your mom’s beliefs into your own parenting beliefs? I apply and implement it daily by apologizing when I should and teaching my children to speak their frustrations aloud or let it go. It will lead them to be more respectful and effective communicators into their adulthood.

Tanya Baptiste , 60, School District Administrator, Mom of 3

What is a beauty secret your mom passed down to you? My mom always stressed the importance of taking good care of your hair. As a young girl, we made regular visits to the “hair dresser.” She taught me to pay careful attention to what products were being used and the care being provided. She stressed never to let anyone “play in your hair.”

What is something your mother taught you that applies to your life right now? My mom has always been fiscally responsible, able to manage our household finances and make things “stretch” as she liked to call it. She taught me the value of “quality over quantity.” Yet, she always stressed, “Try not to live too far above your means and AlWAYS SAVE a little something on the side for a rainy day because trust me, it will rain.”

How have you implemented some of your mom’s beliefs into your own parenting beliefs? She allowed me to explore my interests and talents and stressed the importance of a good education and to aspire towards a profession. She was stern yet fair and incredibly loving. She pushed me and set high expectations. She didn’t expect perfection, but she did expect my best. These are definitely my core parenting beliefs that I have espoused in raising my own children – along with open communication and an active faith.

JB And Tomerio Are The Epitome Of Black Love

freewarren — Mon, 17 Feb 2025 15:00:00 +0000

Jordan Benston is a wonder woman. She is the force behind Oracle Media, a full service production company that produces high-level content. From digital covers to Hulu documentaries, Jordan, affectionally known as JB, seems to do it all. As a wife, mom of two, and master multitasker, she relies on her husband Tomerio to help juggle the many hats she wears. That includes, putting in that work for the company, being a kick-ass dad, and holding their household down as the anchor of the Benston family.

With Valentine’s Day in February, it is a month-long celebration of love. JB and Tomerio’s love story is the stuff Black love movies are made of. The couple wed in a private ceremony on December 4, 2021. The power couple recently celebrated their 3-year wedding anniversary.

“It was super important to be able to have a strong partner who was going be able to support all of the endeavors that I wanted to do,” she explained. “Before I started my business, Tomerio had a full-time job. Once we started the business, it required a lot of travel and more from me. So, he stepped up so their business could thrive.

According to JB, she and Tomerio don’t have a “traditional” household when it comes to their family dynamic. “We split things up in a way that works best for us in our home.”

JB and Tomerio make a conscious effort to be an excellent example of Black love to their children. “We like to be able to make sure that we are a good example of safe and healthy love to our children. Their displays of affection around the house and “spirited debates” teach their children the importance of showing affection and communication even if it garners a “ew” from their daughter Abby.

“My husband makes me feel loved by supporting me, by always considering me. He thinks for me in ways that I don’t think for or he considers me in ways that I sometimes don’t consider myself,” JB gushed. “He’ll remind me like, ‘You have a shoot coming up. What are you wearing? Did you pick out your clothes? Your shoot is coming up. Did you make a hair appointment? Did you make a nail appointment?’”

Checking-in keeps them in-tune. JB also credits their friendship as a secret to maintaining their love. “I genuinely enjoy being around my husband. I enjoy our quality time together. I like just talking to him about my day, about work, about the kids.”

Cuddling together to watch their favorite shows is the perfect recipe for this busy couple. “We celebrate romance on the regular. Those intimate moments can literally look like sitting down together and watching Abbott Elementary, just the two of us, no kids or catching up on our favorite like reality show.”

JB shows her love for Tomerio through physical gestures like hugs, kisses and touchy moments around the house. “I would live in his skin,” she said jokingly. “I’m always on him. When we’re in the house, I’m hugging him. When we’re in the bed together and we’re asleep, I’m body to body, skin to skin.”

And when all else fails, a simple I love you goes a long way. “I don’t know when it started, but we always kiss three times and say, I love you. We say, I love you to each other before we leave to go to the store. Before we leave from upstairs to go downstairs, we kiss and say, ‘I love you.’ It might be excessive, but for us, we really love to do that, to be able to show each other love.”