It was predictable and holy. I’d be on edge awaiting my dad’s military-like shouts to rouse us from out of the covers. I hated being awakened like that, but I had a deep affinity for church.

I kept up the ritual of Sunday service when I went away to college, in my early twenties when I lived alone, and for the better part of my thirties. But they say, “The God of your childhood should not be the God of your adulthood.” As I grew and matured as a woman, my faith and practices shifted. By the time I had my own children, my relationship to the institution, religion, and God had changed. I was increasingly disenchanted and discouraged by misinterpreted scriptures, sexism, and general mean-spiritedness too often found in our worship spaces.

I haven’t abandoned the church entirely, but I’m not necessarily raising my children there. My son goes with my husband every week, but that has more to do with the fact that they’re musicians than the messages preached. Still, I want my children to know and have a relationship with God. If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are ways I’m teaching my children about God without a reliance on church.

Answer their questions
Children are full of questions about the world around them. They want to know the who, what, whens, and whys of everything. God is no different. In America, your child will come across the idea of God whether you openly and actively discuss spirituality in your home or not. Whether you have a practice or not, when your child comes to you with questions, answer them to the best of your ability. These questions can lead you to discover your true feelings about certain topics and lead you into more interrogation, research, and eventually conviction.

Get books that align with your beliefs
As I got older, my idea of God expanded. Still, when we discuss God in our traditional church spaces, we almost always assign masculine pronouns. It’s important that my children have a reverence for women, and that begins with the way I describe God. So imagine my delight when I found a book called Mother God. It’s the perfect way to introduce God in a more wholistic way. You can pair it with titles like What is God Like?, God Made All Your Feelings.

Break down gospel songs
Children love music. It reaches them quickly. The melodies are beautiful. The chorus is catchy and you’ll find them singing the lyrics—sometimes before they even have language of their own. So you know they don’t understand what they’re singing. As they get older and comprehend more, you can begin to explain what those lyrics mean. You can discuss whether you agree with them or not and share experiences where the lyrics have proven true in your own life.

Saturday Symposium
If you want to ensure that your children have a concept of God, your home is a good place to build that relationship. Your house can be Bible study—a place for you to dissect various schools of thought, personally analyze theology, and allow your children to develop their own critical thinking skills that will eventually lead to them fostering their own unique spirituality.

Incorporate sermons/talks that fit
You may not have been able to find a worship space that aligns with the beliefs you’d like to pass on to your children, but you can find people who are preaching and teaching in new and progressive ways. There is a minister who affirms the LGBTQ+ community. There are pastors who don’t promote misogyny from the pulpit. There are speakers who teach more about God’s love and our inherent value than they do about punishment and condemnation. You may have to do some research and dig a little deeper on social media, but they are around. Start your search with thought leaders like D. Danyelle Thomas of Unfit Christian, Ciarra Jones, The Gardening Theologian, and Kristian Smith of The Faith Community.

In my house, Sundays were predictable. They’d begin with my father’s early morning shuffling down the hallway, the low and melodic sounds of an organ, followed by the full and heavenly vocals from somebody’s mass choir. Then there would be the smell of bacon, eggs, toast.

It was predictable and holy. I’d be on edge awaiting my dad’s military-like shouts to rouse us from out of the covers. I hated being awakened like that, but I had a deep affinity for church.

I kept up the ritual of Sunday service when I went away to college, in my early twenties when I lived alone, and for the better part of my thirties. But they say, “The God of your childhood should not be the God of your adulthood.” As I grew and matured as a woman, my faith and practices shifted. By the time I had my own children, my relationship to the institution, religion, and God had changed. I was increasingly disenchanted and discouraged by misinterpreted scriptures, sexism, and general mean-spiritedness too often found in our worship spaces.

I haven’t abandoned the church entirely, but I’m not necessarily raising my children there. My son goes with my husband every week, but that has more to do with the fact that they’re musicians than the messages preached. Still, I want my children to know and have a relationship with God. If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are ways I’m teaching my children about God without a reliance on church.

Answer their questions
Children are full of questions about the world around them. They want to know the who, what, whens, and whys of everything. God is no different. In America, your child will come across the idea of God whether you openly and actively discuss spirituality in your home or not. Whether you have a practice or not, when your child comes to you with questions, answer them to the best of your ability. These questions can lead you to discover your true feelings about certain topics and lead you into more interrogation, research, and eventually conviction.

Get books that align with your beliefs
As I got older, my idea of God expanded. Still, when we discuss God in our traditional church spaces, we almost always assign masculine pronouns. It’s important that my children have a reverence for women, and that begins with the way I describe God. So imagine my delight when I found a book called Mother God. It’s the perfect way to introduce God in a more wholistic way. You can pair it with titles like What is God Like?, God Made All Your Feelings.

Break down gospel songs
Children love music. It reaches them quickly. The melodies are beautiful. The chorus is catchy and you’ll find them singing the lyrics—sometimes before they even have language of their own. So you know they don’t understand what they’re singing. As they get older and comprehend more, you can begin to explain what those lyrics mean. You can discuss whether you agree with them or not and share experiences where the lyrics have proven true in your own life.

Saturday Symposium
If you want to ensure that your children have a concept of God, your home is a good place to build that relationship. Your house can be Bible study—a place for you to dissect various schools of thought, personally analyze theology, and allow your children to develop their own critical thinking skills that will eventually lead to them fostering their own unique spirituality.

Incorporate sermons/talks that fit
You may not have been able to find a worship space that aligns with the beliefs you’d like to pass on to your children, but you can find people who are preaching and teaching in new and progressive ways. There is a minister who affirms the LGBTQ+ community. There are pastors who don’t promote misogyny from the pulpit. There are speakers who teach more about God’s love and our inherent value than they do about punishment and condemnation. You may have to do some research and dig a little deeper on social media, but they are around. Start your search with thought leaders like D. Danyelle Thomas of Unfit Christian, Ciarra Jones, The Gardening Theologian, and Kristian Smith of The Faith Community.

Lucinda Cross has superpowers. One conversation with the motivational speaker and life coach and you’ll leave feeling full. She has a way of speaking life into you with unmatched authenticity. That’s probably because Lucinda, mom of three, has had her fair share of trials and triumphs. All of which she details in her inspirational speeches that can be found on her social media account. 

Lucinda’s personal life experiences have made her a voice mom’s raising multiple children, including one incarcerated. Through it all, Lucinda has maintained her positive outlook on life.

Lucinda’s personal life experiences have made her a voice mom’s raising multiple children, including one incarcerated. Through it all, Lucinda has maintained her positive outlook on life.

“My motherhood journey has been filled with love, growth, and intention,” she says. “When struggles come, I face them with faith, resilience, and a sense of purpose.” Lucinda revealed she leans on prayer and prays over everything from her kid’s shoes to their sports bags. Prayer has helped her cope with her son serving time.

“My motherhood journey has been filled with love, growth, and intention,” she says. “When struggles come, I face them with faith, resilience, and a sense of purpose.” Lucinda revealed she leans on prayer and prays over everything from her kid’s shoes to their sports bags. Prayer has helped her cope with her son serving time.

“Having a son incarcerated has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life as a mother. He was a college senior, just months away from graduating at the top of his class, when he was sentenced for his first offense. It was devastating, especially knowing he had never been in trouble before. Looking back, I now see how the effects of the bullying he endured as a young boy contributed to the choices he made. The emotional toll, the constant worry, and the weight of societal judgment are indescribable.”

“Having a son incarcerated has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life as a mother. He was a college senior, just months away from graduating at the top of his class, when he was sentenced for his first offense. It was devastating, especially knowing he had never been in trouble before. Looking back, I now see how the effects of the bullying he endured as a young boy contributed to the choices he made. The emotional toll, the constant worry, and the weight of societal judgment are indescribable.”

Lucinda turned her pain into her passion but uplifting other mothers who may be going through similar. “My advice to moms in the same situation is to hold onto your faith, lean on your support system, and give yourself grace. I was extremely hard on myself and wondered what did I do wrong? I spent countless sleeping nights wondering how can I help him. I went into a deep depression and almost lost my business. I was overwhelmed with one kid going into college, one going into high school and one going into prison, it was rough and I put myself in a deep dark space.”

Lucinda turned her pain into her passion but uplifting other mothers who may be going through similar. “My advice to moms in the same situation is to hold onto your faith, lean on your support system, and give yourself grace. I was extremely hard on myself and wondered what did I do wrong? I spent countless sleeping nights wondering how can I help him. I went into a deep depression and almost lost my business. I was overwhelmed with one kid going into college, one going into high school and one going into prison, it was rough and I put myself in a deep dark space.”

Despite feeling overwhelmed providing emotional support to her son, and raising her other children, Lucinda manages to do it all with grace.

Despite feeling overwhelmed providing emotional support to her son, and raising her other children, Lucinda manages to do it all with grace.

“With my younger son, I’ve been honest in an age-appropriate way, explaining the situation without sugarcoating it. My daughter is also suffering but it has brought us all closer. I’ve used this as an opportunity to teach them empathy, forgiveness, and the importance of learning from mistakes. We openly discuss choices and consequences while reinforcing that their brother is still deeply loved, valued, and capable of growth and redemption. This experience has brought us closer as a family and reminded us that, no matter what, we stand together.”

“With my younger son, I’ve been honest in an age-appropriate way, explaining the situation without sugarcoating it. My daughter is also suffering but it has brought us all closer. I’ve used this as an opportunity to teach them empathy, forgiveness, and the importance of learning from mistakes. We openly discuss choices and consequences while reinforcing that their brother is still deeply loved, valued, and capable of growth and redemption. This experience has brought us closer as a family and reminded us that, no matter what, we stand together.”

Black women bear the load of the family and sometimes to the detriment of our mental and physical health. A goal for Lucinda, this year, is to “ take a solo trip, it is much needed.”

Black women bear the load of the family and sometimes to the detriment of our mental and physical health. A goal for Lucinda, this year, is to “ take a solo trip, it is much needed.”

She adds, “take time for self-care and seek out resources or support groups that understand what you’re going through. Remember, this is just a chapter in your family’s story, not the whole book. Stay hopeful and focus on the possibility of growth and redemption for your child and for yourself.”

She adds, “take time for self-care and seek out resources or support groups that understand what you’re going through. Remember, this is just a chapter in your family’s story, not the whole book. Stay hopeful and focus on the possibility of growth and redemption for your child and for yourself.”

You can find more about Lucinda at www.lucindacross.com and her nonprofit that advocates for reentry and restorative justice  www.activateyourlife.org . If you wish to join my text support group you can message me at 914 623-8572 for love, support in this transition or life coaching. 

You can find more about Lucinda at www.lucindacross.com and her nonprofit that advocates for reentry and restorative justice  www.activateyourlife.org . If you wish to join my text support group you can message me at 914 623-8572 for love, support in this transition or life coaching.