Once the doctors place that slippery baby on your chest, we have a tendency to forget all of the moments that made it possible. The morning sickness, the discomfort, the irritability. Even the arduous labor you just endured becomes an afterthought. All of the gratitude may mean when we recount the stories of pregnancies, we leave out some of the more gruesome details. But in the effort of transparency, truth, and memory, we spoke to moms and dads to get the real tea about what it means to carry and birth a child. Check out their raw, unfiltered, and completely anonymous stories below.

Everyone’s in Your Business

Everyone’s in Your Business

Mom, 35 — First child, still expecting

Mom, 35 — First child, still expecting

“I was caught off guard when I started showing. I popped overnight, and that brought on a wave of gleeful strangers. I’m a bit of an introvert and tend to mask behind a resting bitch face, but apparently, a baby bump and the so-called pregnancy glow canceled that out. I went from wearing my invisibility cloak to feeling like I had a neon sign that said, Ask me about the most intimate parts of my life. That was a huge adjustment. I know most people mean well, but the ‘Are you sure it’s not twins?’ and ‘What are you having?’ or ‘When are you due?’ comments can be draining—especially for someone like me.

“I was caught off guard when I started showing. I popped overnight, and that brought on a wave of gleeful strangers. I’m a bit of an introvert and tend to mask behind a resting bitch face, but apparently, a baby bump and the so-called pregnancy glow canceled that out. I went from wearing my invisibility cloak to feeling like I had a neon sign that said, Ask me about the most intimate parts of my life. That was a huge adjustment. I know most people mean well, but the ‘Are you sure it’s not twins?’ and ‘What are you having?’ or ‘When are you due?’ comments can be draining—especially for someone like me.

One of the most unexpected physical changes was the gas, and not just regular gas, but trapped gas. I didn’t even know that was a thing until I spent a week in misery and ended up asking ChatGPT if I could die from it. Gas-X, yoga, position changes, massages… nothing worked. I even considered using the Frida Windi on myself at one point.

One of the most unexpected physical changes was the gas, and not just regular gas, but trapped gas. I didn’t even know that was a thing until I spent a week in misery and ended up asking ChatGPT if I could die from it. Gas-X, yoga, position changes, massages… nothing worked. I even considered using the Frida Windi on myself at one point.

I was also surprised by the pelvic pain and pressure. I expected heaviness in the sense of a belly feeling like a backpack worn on the front. But the pulling sensation and internal pressure—especially in the later stages—felt strange. I tried a belly band, but baby hated it: kicking, rolling, punching the entire time I wore it. It was weird but also kind of fascinating…

I was also surprised by the pelvic pain and pressure. I expected heaviness in the sense of a belly feeling like a backpack worn on the front. But the pulling sensation and internal pressure—especially in the later stages—felt strange. I tried a belly band, but baby hated it: kicking, rolling, punching the entire time I wore it. It was weird but also kind of fascinating…

…Which brings me to the last point. I didn’t expect to be so deeply in love with someone I haven’t even met. I feel like I’ve known this baby my whole life. I can sense what calms them, what agitates them. I can almost imagine their face. My heart is so full as I anxiously wait for baby’s arrival.”

…Which brings me to the last point. I didn’t expect to be so deeply in love with someone I haven’t even met. I feel like I’ve known this baby my whole life. I can sense what calms them, what agitates them. I can almost imagine their face. My heart is so full as I anxiously wait for baby’s arrival.”

Things Can Get Messy

Things Can Get Messy

Mom, 37 — Two children, 1 year and 4 years old

Mom, 37 — Two children, 1 year and 4 years old

My second pregnancy was nothing like my first. The only symptom of my first pregnancy was that I couldn’t stand the taste of water for a few weeks. With my second, I was miserable during that first trimester. Everything and everyone got on my nerves. The smell of foods I’d once loved made me nauseated and irritated. And then there was the poop.

My second pregnancy was nothing like my first. The only symptom of my first pregnancy was that I couldn’t stand the taste of water for a few weeks. With my second, I was miserable during that first trimester. Everything and everyone got on my nerves. The smell of foods I’d once loved made me nauseated and irritated. And then there was the poop.

One day, I decided to take my then two-year-old son to the park. I fed him and myself and walked out into the hot sun to give him some fresh air. Ten minutes after we got there, I realized I had to use the bathroom. But we’d just gotten there and I didn’t want to deprive my toddler, so I tried to hold it. I didn’t know that this pregnancy would mean holding it was no longer an option. Sadly, I came to this realization too late.

One day, I decided to take my then two-year-old son to the park. I fed him and myself and walked out into the hot sun to give him some fresh air. Ten minutes after we got there, I realized I had to use the bathroom. But we’d just gotten there and I didn’t want to deprive my toddler, so I tried to hold it. I didn’t know that this pregnancy would mean holding it was no longer an option. Sadly, I came to this realization too late.

I threw my son in his stroller and started to make my way home. But with each step, poop started exiting my body and sliding down my leg. So gross, so humbling. That five-minute walk home was one to remember.

I threw my son in his stroller and started to make my way home. But with each step, poop started exiting my body and sliding down my leg. So gross, so humbling. That five-minute walk home was one to remember.

Labor Takes Time + Bonding Can Be A Challenge

Labor Takes Time + Bonding Can Be A Challenge

Dad, 33 — One child, 9 months

Dad, 33 — One child, 9 months

“It’s ironic because literally we were at the baby shower and [my wife’s] homegirl was like, ‘They don’t talk about this but girl, you know it’s on and popping when you take a shit and throwing up at the same time.’ She just told us. If she didn’t tell me that, I would have really been freaking out.

“It’s ironic because literally we were at the baby shower and [my wife’s] homegirl was like, ‘They don’t talk about this but girl, you know it’s on and popping when you take a shit and throwing up at the same time.’ She just told us. If she didn’t tell me that, I would have really been freaking out.

We didn’t have our baby until Monday, but my wife went into labor on Friday. Our doula at the time told us we didn’t have to rush to the hospital. My wife didn’t even call and tell nobody. Her water broke on Friday. She tried to go to work on Saturday. She went to brunch. Having a time! I’m like, ‘You’re about to have a baby!’ She just threw a pad on; she’s constantly leaking. That was crazy. I never knew that’s how it went. I thought it was just a splash and stuff just start hitting the fan. But it’s a whole process, a build-up.”

We didn’t have our baby until Monday, but my wife went into labor on Friday. Our doula at the time told us we didn’t have to rush to the hospital. My wife didn’t even call and tell nobody. Her water broke on Friday. She tried to go to work on Saturday. She went to brunch. Having a time! I’m like, ‘You’re about to have a baby!’ She just threw a pad on; she’s constantly leaking. That was crazy. I never knew that’s how it went. I thought it was just a splash and stuff just start hitting the fan. But it’s a whole process, a build-up.”

Additionally…

Additionally…

“Also, a challenge I had never considered—but found myself experiencing—was bonding with my daughter. When she first arrived, she wanted her mother—only. This created tension in our house because I felt unable to support my wife in the way she needed and deserved. She always had to be present—especially for feedings and bedtime—since our daughter was breastfeeding and hadn’t adapted to the bottle.

“Also, a challenge I had never considered—but found myself experiencing—was bonding with my daughter. When she first arrived, she wanted her mother—only. This created tension in our house because I felt unable to support my wife in the way she needed and deserved. She always had to be present—especially for feedings and bedtime—since our daughter was breastfeeding and hadn’t adapted to the bottle.

It also made me feel undesired by my child. I wanted her to feel safe and comfortable with me immediately and I hadn’t anticipated that she might not feel instantly connected to me. It took time—but eventually, our bond developed naturally. That moment felt celebratory for me.”

It also made me feel undesired by my child. I wanted her to feel safe and comfortable with me immediately and I hadn’t anticipated that she might not feel instantly connected to me. It took time—but eventually, our bond developed naturally. That moment felt celebratory for me.”

You’re Seeing Things

You’re Seeing Things

Mom, 35 — One child, 2 years old

Mom, 35 — One child, 2 years old

My midwife warned me to write down everyone’s number who said they would help because if you don’t get enough sleep, you’re going to start hallucinating. And there were a few times when I got there.

My midwife warned me to write down everyone’s number who said they would help because if you don’t get enough sleep, you’re going to start hallucinating. And there were a few times when I got there.

Mom, 37 — Two children, 4 and 1 years old

Mom, 37 — Two children, 4 and 1 years old

I had a hallucination in the hospital. When my daughter was born, she looked so much like my sister. One time I looked at her before I picked her up to nurse, and I really thought I was feeding my little sister.

I had a hallucination in the hospital. When my daughter was born, she looked so much like my sister. One time I looked at her before I picked her up to nurse, and I really thought I was feeding my little sister.

In the midst of that extended stay in the hospital, my husband had a conversation with a friend who told him that soon we’d go home and we wouldn’t even think about this stressful time anymore. I appreciated any words of encouragement, but I knew that wouldn’t be my story. On the 11th day of my son’s hospitalization, I had my first breakdown in front of the nurses. I’d waited nine months to welcome him into our family, and I couldn’t properly do that when I had to leave him at the hospital every night. When the nurses asked why I was crying, I told them leaving my child was unnatural.

Learning that he would be released the next day did feel like an entirely fresh start. But over two years later, pregnant with my second child and in the same hospital where my son spent the first two weeks of his life, I knew the scars of that experience were still there. I was grateful that my son left the building healthy, but I wept for the anxiety, stress, pain, and longing I experienced as a first-time mom who couldn’t take her baby home with her.

A study from the Stanford School of Medicine found that of 18 parents who had spent significant time in the NICU, three of them were later diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Parents with children in the NICU can experience several traumas: an early or unexpected birth, the stress of having to undergo intense medical procedures, and the inability to bond with their infants in their home. The study found that the PTSD diagnosis had nothing to do with the length of the NICU stay or the severity of the child’s condition. Instead, it came down to how well the parents were able to cope during this time.

Whether you’ve lived through a NICU stay, are in the midst of one, or want to be of support to another parent who may be going through it, here are some strategies to help you deal with it all:

Lean on other former NICU parents

The only people who can relate to the feeling of having a child in the NICU are the parents who’ve survived the ordeal themselves. A study published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal found that 16 weeks after a child’s premature birth, mothers who were paired with other parents who had been in the NICU were less likely to suffer from anxiety and depression, and reported feeling like they had a support system.

Tell your story, even if it’s just to yourself

By the time you break your baby out of the hospital, the last thing you want to do is relive it all. Many parents just get down to the nitty-gritty of raising the child. And while it may be hard to find an audience for this story, it’s important that you process your feelings from that time so that you don’t carry the worries and anxiety from the NICU into your life at home.

Don’t be afraid to get help

If you are experiencing PTSD as a result of being in the NICU, you have to be officially diagnosed by a mental health professional. Having dreams or flashbacks of the event, avoiding discussions of the NICU stay or the hospital where it took place, and feelings of anxiety about the future are all signs. If any of these seem familiar, it’s a great idea to speak to a professional.

When my son was born, I could tell from the doctors’ reactions that there was an issue. Not a major one, but there was reason for concern. Their faces were more concerned than celebratory. People were shuffling around his tiny body, studying it. And no one made a move to place my new baby bundle on my chest. That was the beginning of what would be a 12-day stay in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). 

In the midst of that extended stay in the hospital, my husband had a conversation with a friend who told him that soon we’d go home and we wouldn’t even think about this stressful time anymore. I appreciated any words of encouragement, but I knew that wouldn’t be my story. On the 11th day of my son’s hospitalization, I had my first breakdown in front of the nurses. I’d waited nine months to welcome him into our family, and I couldn’t properly do that when I had to leave him at the hospital every night. When the nurses asked why I was crying, I told them leaving my child was unnatural.

Learning that he would be released the next day did feel like an entirely fresh start. But over two years later, pregnant with my second child and in the same hospital where my son spent the first two weeks of his life, I knew the scars of that experience were still there. I was grateful that my son left the building healthy, but I wept for the anxiety, stress, pain, and longing I experienced as a first-time mom who couldn’t take her baby home with her.

A study from the Stanford School of Medicine found that of 18 parents who had spent significant time in the NICU, three of them were later diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Parents with children in the NICU can experience several traumas: an early or unexpected birth, the stress of having to undergo intense medical procedures, and the inability to bond with their infants in their home. The study found that the PTSD diagnosis had nothing to do with the length of the NICU stay or the severity of the child’s condition. Instead, it came down to how well the parents were able to cope during this time.

Whether you’ve lived through a NICU stay, are in the midst of one, or want to be of support to another parent who may be going through it, here are some strategies to help you deal with it all:

Lean on other former NICU parents

The only people who can relate to the feeling of having a child in the NICU are the parents who’ve survived the ordeal themselves. A study published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal found that 16 weeks after a child’s premature birth, mothers who were paired with other parents who had been in the NICU were less likely to suffer from anxiety and depression, and reported feeling like they had a support system.

Tell your story, even if it’s just to yourself

By the time you break your baby out of the hospital, the last thing you want to do is relive it all. Many parents just get down to the nitty-gritty of raising the child. And while it may be hard to find an audience for this story, it’s important that you process your feelings from that time so that you don’t carry the worries and anxiety from the NICU into your life at home.

Don’t be afraid to get help

If you are experiencing PTSD as a result of being in the NICU, you have to be officially diagnosed by a mental health professional. Having dreams or flashbacks of the event, avoiding discussions of the NICU stay or the hospital where it took place, and feelings of anxiety about the future are all signs. If any of these seem familiar, it’s a great idea to speak to a professional.

Alicia Johnson takes a moment from breastfeeding her infant, to answer a few questions.  Motherhood has been a journey for the 41-year-old businessowner, style influencer and social media personality. After struggling to get pregnant and an intense five rounds of IVF, nothing compares to the joy of her family of three welcome a fourth member. 

Like many new moms, Alicia finding the balance between daily life tasks, breastfeeding and maintaining her business in a shaky economy. Something she wishes “more moms were transparent about the woes of motherhood. Therefore, she is using her platform to show the unfiltered side of mom life. One of the things she’s been transparent about it how the current economy affects her household. 

Like many new moms, Alicia finding the balance between daily life tasks, breastfeeding and maintaining her business in a shaky economy. Something she wishes “more moms were transparent about the woes of motherhood. Therefore, she is using her platform to show the unfiltered side of mom life. One of the things she’s been transparent about it how the current economy affects her household. 

As a full-time content creator and online beauty supply owner, Trump’s tariffs have added another layer to her family dynamic. 

As a full-time content creator and online beauty supply owner, Trump’s tariffs have added another layer to her family dynamic. 

Currently at 245%, Trump’s tariffs have the potential to “shatter everything I’ve built.” But she’s keeping her faith in God. “I’m focusing my energy on the things I can control and praying and trusting God to take care of the rest.”

Currently at 245%, Trump’s tariffs have the potential to “shatter everything I’ve built.” But she’s keeping her faith in God. “I’m focusing my energy on the things I can control and praying and trusting God to take care of the rest.”

“Having a baby is already costly enough but now with the rising cost of everything we have been really trying to be more mindful and strategic about where and what we spend on. On top of her baby now eating solid foods, she considers herself what the Internet girlies would call a “crunchy mom. “I’m always looking for the best ingredients, organic fresh fruits and veggies, and making all of the baby’s food from scratch.”

“Having a baby is already costly enough but now with the rising cost of everything we have been really trying to be more mindful and strategic about where and what we spend on. On top of her baby now eating solid foods, she considers herself what the Internet girlies would call a “crunchy mom. “I’m always looking for the best ingredients, organic fresh fruits and veggies, and making all of the baby’s food from scratch.”

Alicia is also an entrepreneur. Her online beauty store — TheBeautyNomad.com — is full of merch, and products. The online spot “came out of the need for Black women and busy moms to have easier access to their beauty and haircare needs. So juggling all of that as a new mom has been a lot.” 

Alicia is also an entrepreneur. Her online beauty store — TheBeautyNomad.com — is full of merch, and products. The online spot “came out of the need for Black women and busy moms to have easier access to their beauty and haircare needs. So juggling all of that as a new mom has been a lot.” 

She adds, “And as if that isn’t enough now I’m dealing with the looming effects of Trumps tariffs. The beauty supply industry is notoriously dominated by Asian owned businesses and manufacturers. So I don’t know where my business will stand and exactly how or if we’ll make it through the next couple of years.”

She adds, “And as if that isn’t enough now I’m dealing with the looming effects of Trumps tariffs. The beauty supply industry is notoriously dominated by Asian owned businesses and manufacturers. So I don’t know where my business will stand and exactly how or if we’ll make it through the next couple of years.”

Alicia shares the same concerns as other businessowners in similar markets that depend on places like China to get their merchandise. Despite uncertain times, Alicia’s focus remains on her family and the new life she’s brought into the world.

Alicia shares the same concerns as other businessowners in similar markets that depend on places like China to get their merchandise. Despite uncertain times, Alicia’s focus remains on her family and the new life she’s brought into the world.

“I’ve slowly being getting back into the swing of business and all that comes with that. My social media platforms have grown so much in the past year and I’ve been putting a lot of energy into events, merch, and my content so I’d be lying if I didn’t say maybe all that is going on with the tariffs is a sign that it’s time for me to pivot. But like I said I’m trusting God to open and close the right doors for me and going from there.”

“I’ve slowly being getting back into the swing of business and all that comes with that. My social media platforms have grown so much in the past year and I’ve been putting a lot of energy into events, merch, and my content so I’d be lying if I didn’t say maybe all that is going on with the tariffs is a sign that it’s time for me to pivot. But like I said I’m trusting God to open and close the right doors for me and going from there.”