Teaching Your Kids about Faith, in Your Own Way

In my house, Sundays were predictable. They’d begin with my father’s early morning shuffling down the hallway, the low and melodic sounds of an organ, followed by the full and heavenly vocals from somebody’s mass choir. Then there would be the smell of bacon, eggs, toast.

It was predictable and holy. I’d be on edge awaiting my dad’s military-like shouts to rouse us from out of the covers. I hated being awakened like that, but I had a deep affinity for church.

I kept up the ritual of Sunday service when I went away to college, in my early twenties when I lived alone, and for the better part of my thirties. But they say, “The God of your childhood should not be the God of your adulthood.” As I grew and matured as a woman, my faith and practices shifted. By the time I had my own children, my relationship to the institution, religion, and God had changed. I was increasingly disenchanted and discouraged by misinterpreted scriptures, sexism, and general mean-spiritedness too often found in our worship spaces.

I haven’t abandoned the church entirely, but I’m not necessarily raising my children there. My son goes with my husband every week, but that has more to do with the fact that they’re musicians than the messages preached. Still, I want my children to know and have a relationship with God. If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are ways I’m teaching my children about God without a reliance on church.

Answer their questions
Children are full of questions about the world around them. They want to know the who, what, whens, and whys of everything. God is no different. In America, your child will come across the idea of God whether you openly and actively discuss spirituality in your home or not. Whether you have a practice or not, when your child comes to you with questions, answer them to the best of your ability. These questions can lead you to discover your true feelings about certain topics and lead you into more interrogation, research, and eventually conviction.

Get books that align with your beliefs
As I got older, my idea of God expanded. Still, when we discuss God in our traditional church spaces, we almost always assign masculine pronouns. It’s important that my children have a reverence for women, and that begins with the way I describe God. So imagine my delight when I found a book called Mother God. It’s the perfect way to introduce God in a more wholistic way. You can pair it with titles like What is God Like?, God Made All Your Feelings.

Break down gospel songs
Children love music. It reaches them quickly. The melodies are beautiful. The chorus is catchy and you’ll find them singing the lyrics—sometimes before they even have language of their own. So you know they don’t understand what they’re singing. As they get older and comprehend more, you can begin to explain what those lyrics mean. You can discuss whether you agree with them or not and share experiences where the lyrics have proven true in your own life.

Saturday Symposium
If you want to ensure that your children have a concept of God, your home is a good place to build that relationship. Your house can be Bible study—a place for you to dissect various schools of thought, personally analyze theology, and allow your children to develop their own critical thinking skills that will eventually lead to them fostering their own unique spirituality.

Incorporate sermons/talks that fit
You may not have been able to find a worship space that aligns with the beliefs you’d like to pass on to your children, but you can find people who are preaching and teaching in new and progressive ways. There is a minister who affirms the LGBTQ+ community. There are pastors who don’t promote misogyny from the pulpit. There are speakers who teach more about God’s love and our inherent value than they do about punishment and condemnation. You may have to do some research and dig a little deeper on social media, but they are around. Start your search with thought leaders like D. Danyelle Thomas of Unfit Christian, Ciarra Jones, The Gardening Theologian, and Kristian Smith of The Faith Community.