What to Do If Depression Shows Up In Your Home and How to Recognize It

The thought of depression often conjures images of an unkempt adult—unwashed, withdrawn, and unable to function. And while that can be one form it takes, depression manifests in many ways, across different age groups and experiences. There is no one way to be depressed.

We spoke with licensed professional counselor Theresa Rose to help identify the signs of depression—whether in your children, your partner, or even yourself.

Understanding Depression vs. Intense Emotions

First, Rose made a distinction between intense emotions, situational sadness, and clinical depression.

“For clinical depression, there is a timeframe,” she explained. “With persistent depression, you’re depressed for two years. There’s cyclical depression that can happen every two weeks. Signs can include isolating yourself, changes in appetite or interests, and the big one: suicidal ideation.”

Depression in Children

Signs of depression in children can differ significantly from adults.

“For children, it’s acting out—behavioral,” Rose noted.

Children may not articulate their sadness in words, but instead through frustration, rebellion, or sudden mood shifts.

Why It’s Harder to Spot in the Black Community

Depression can be tricky to identify in the Black community because of how we’ve been socialized to mask it.

“We put on a big show,” said Rose. “‘I’m strong, I’m independent, I can do this.’ But behind closed doors, there’s a lot more going on.”

This tendency to hide emotions is especially common among Black mothers, who often prioritize their families’ needs above their own. Even when someone is masking their depression, there may still be behaviors that speak to the truth of their experience.

“It could be drinking, or not wanting to leave the house,” she added. “If they’re working a lot, they might be pouring energy into everything but the problem.”

The Lingering Nature of Postpartum Depression

Rose, a mother herself, has experienced both postpartum depression and trauma. She noted that postpartum depression often lasts longer than people expect.

“They’ll say, ‘You’ve got a year and then you’ll be fine.’ But postpartum can linger for many years.”

Signs can include:

Body dysmorphia
Grieving the person you were before becoming a parent
Harsh self-criticism
Comparing yourself to others
Resenting parenting altogether

When It’s Time for Help

If you’re experiencing clinical depression, professional help is essential. In addition to therapy or medical support, Rose stresses the importance of self-care and open communication with your support system.

For young children, treatment may look different.

“Play therapy works well,” Rose shared. “Kids tend to draw things or express themselves through games. Even a game of Uno can open the door. A child might say, ‘My mom and dad got into an argument and it made me sad.’”

Encouraging children to name their emotions gives them permission to feel without shame—and invites deeper dialogue.

For Parents: Understanding Without Shame

Rose urges parents to avoid judgment or guilt if their child is struggling.

“A lot of parents don’t know what to look for,” she said. “The first thing they might say is, ‘Where did I go wrong?’ No. That’s not the first response. The first response should be, ‘How can I help?’ or ‘What do I need to do?’”

Even if a child is already in therapy, Rose emphasized that follow-through at home is key.

“You can’t rely on the school system. You can’t drop them off at therapy and expect a full transformation. Parents have to implement those skills too. Everything is collaborative.”

What Depression Looks Like in Fathers

Fathers are often left out of mental health conversations—but they struggle too. Warning signs in men can include:

Poor problem-solving skills
Changes in sex drive
Promiscuous behavior
Emotional unavailability or complete withdrawal from family life

Some fathers may be physically present but emotionally absent.

“Men tend to stuff their feelings down, and when those feelings erupt, it can come out in dysfunctional—or even criminal—ways,” Rose explained.

But there is hope.

“There are more Black men in therapy now than ever before. They’re pushing to get the help they need.”

How Families Can Be Proactive

To protect mental wellness in the home, Rose suggests weekly family check-ins.

“Do activities—game night, a communication jar where children can express themselves without fear of consequences. Let them say, ‘I don’t like when you do this,’ or ‘I feel like you’re not listening.’ If you limit how your children express themselves, they’ll stop telling you things altogether.”

Ultimately, the key is listening—without judgment—and leading with compassion.