She’s Ready to Move In, But My Children Are Not Ready – So Now What?

There are so many aspects of life as an adult that challenge us and test our character. Raising children is at the top of that list. Navigating romantic relationships is on that list too. Trying to find and meld lifestyles with another person is no easy feat. So imagine the difficulty that can arise when parents start dating.

One father brought his dating dilemma to Threads and it went viral, sparking all types of opinions about how he should have handled this conundrum.

The man wrote, “My wife died 6 years ago, when my daughter was 10 and my son was 8. It was devastating for all of us.” The man shared that with his late wife’s life insurance, he was able to pay off the mortgage on the home they shared and deposited the rest into a savings account for his children.

After a while, his friends encouraged him to start dating again. Over a year ago, he met Laine. The two embarked on a relationship and things got serious. Recently, Laine told the father and widower that she wanted their children to meet one another and move in together.

“I am not ready for this,” the father explained. “Mostly due to the fact I don’t want my kids to lose their home and stability. They are both teenagers now and really attached to the home. It cannot house Laine’s kids unless they share rooms and I don’t want them to have to do it. I told this to Laine.”

Laine suggested buying or renting a new home that could comfortably house everyone. While the father could see the logic in the plan, he still didn’t want to have to uproot his children by asking them to leave their childhood home. He also mentioned that he wouldn’t have the money to put a down payment on a new home.

Laine admitted she thought he would sell the existing house for that.

The dad claimed that this is not an option. “I would either live there till I die and leave it to my kids, or move out and buy another home but still leave the house to the kids. To me it’s simple. Their mom paid the majority of the house, when she was alive and through her life insurance. I cannot sell it.”

As a form of compromise, the father asked that Laine wait four years until his youngest child is 18 years old. But Laine is not okay with that. She thinks he’s being unreasonable for asking her to put her life on hold.

“I apologized to her but made it clear my kids come first, and it is their home. So those are non-negotiable.”

We spoke to matchmaker and dating coach Juanita Brown to get her thoughts on this situation—and others like it—in an effort to help parents navigate the timing of merging lives when they have kids.

“Moving in together should only happen when both partners are financially stable, emotionally mature, and have taken the time to meet and build rapport with each other’s children,” Brown said. “Combining households isn’t just about love—it’s about lifestyle compatibility, structure, and shared values. It’s important to ask yourself, ‘Is this move going to strengthen my family as a whole?’ because blending homes means blending lives.”

Like the father who shared his story, considerations about how a child may be affected by the move are important. Brown suggested that all parties have open communication about how the change will affect the children who will be asked to move.

Lastly, we asked Brown if it is fair to ask romantic partners to wait while their children reach a certain age.

“Absolutely, there’s nothing wrong with protecting your peace or prioritizing your children’s emotional well-being,” Brown said. “Being honest about your circumstances gives the other person a choice so they can decide whether they’re willing to wait or pursue something different. Dating as a parent should be intentional. You should only date when you’re emotionally available and ready, not because society makes you feel like you should be with someone.”