Parents Need Love: Being My Best for Us All - Jessica’s Journey
Written By: Dani Canada
First-time mom Jessica Watson Jackson was admittedly “very nervous” to welcome her daughter Saige in the fall of 2022, but upon her baby’s arrival, her motherly instincts kicked in.
Not only did she receive those instincts, but she also received help throughout her “huge transition” and in moments of downtime, she also discovered something significant.
“Going through the journey has been something that has really opened my eyes to why people really truly have kids and love kids because I can't see myself without her now,” she tells ParentsNeedLove about her baby girl.
The doting mom who loves her new role admits however that she’s faced significant challenges including feeling the pressure to fulfill societal norms of what a “good mom” looks like.
“It’s gonna challenge who you are to the core,” says Jessica about motherhood. “Any issues you have when it comes to self-confidence, it’s going to challenge that because if you practice to be a good person, a good daughter, a good girlfriend, a good wife and you definitely want to be a great mom. The pressure you put on yourself can really hinder your ability to be the best at it. “
“That's something that I had to realize and take on day by day,” she adds. “I didn’t necessarily feel the pressure to be super mom, but I felt the pressure to be the best mom for Saige. I ultimately think everybody’s idea of an ideal mother is different, and I wanted to match mine.”
That’s not the only challenge the Denver-based mom has faced, she also told ParentsNeedLove that she’s still finding the balance between motherhood and daily life, but she’s leaning on her helpmate for assistance.
“I can say it’s a challenge every day,” admits Jessica. “Since I work from home and Saige is not in daycare, she’s primarily with me all day long but I have relied on my partner which I am so grateful for. He has stepped up and helped with that word that you call balance. At certain parts of the day, he will come and take her and I’ll be able to get my work done if I really need to focus.”
“All of this is just planning,” she adds. “I’ve never been a good planner and this has taught me to be a better planner in life. “
Included in that planning is something integral to Jessica’s motherhood journey; self-care.
According to the mom, taking time to herself is not a want, but a need, and she first started making it a habit before she even gave birth.
“I’ve always been a proponent of self-care and after I made a big life adjustment and change, I realized how important is to take care of myself,” says Jessica. “After having Saige, yes I did have mom guilt about self-care, especially early on. It was even simple things like getting in the shower and washing my hair because in my mind she [Saige] didn’t know what was going and I just wanted to be prevalent at all times. That’s very unrealistic.”
She continues,
“And the crazy thing about it is, the smaller they are, the less, they really need. It’s once they start growing up and walking and talking and moving that they need more care. I had to understand that at the three-month-old stage, she would be fine for 10 minutes, so I could go and take a shower.”
After overcoming the fear of neglecting her child, Jessica says she tried out different self-care practices ranging from mindfulness to monthly spa appointments.
“Every morning I do my affirmations because my good girlfriend Danielle, we started that way back in the day, and it stuck,” says Jessica.
“I take time out of the beginning of my day to meditate and recite my affirmations. That gets my day going. I do my facial once a month. I, leave the house to go get a facial and that's just mommy time away. It has nothing to do with anyone else except me and I really, really enjoy that. That's my once-a-month getaway.”
“Also Friday nights are my night,” she adds. “We make sure we put Saige down to sleep early and I have either a hair night or a facial night or just do some massaging and relaxing. I have a massage gun that I use when I do my stretches and I try to stretch before going to bed just to slow my day down and get rid of any tension.
“For me, that’s what self-care is about, getting rid of any tension, that helps me have a better night's sleep so when I do have to get up to a crying baby, I’m not sad, upset, or grumpy.”
While some moms have to embark on their self-care journey alone, Jessica credits her fiancé Tre with allowing her space to manage her well-being. According to her, her longtime love can even tell when she needs time to herself and he gives her space to have it.
“We talked about this before we had our baby,” explains Jessica about her relationship. “We made sure that we discussed each other’s needs and I want to thank therapy for that, it got us to that point. I think the sign of a good partner is someone who understands your cues and triggers and won’t use them in negative ways.”
“That’s one thing I can say about Tre,” she adds. “He’s aware of my cues, and my triggers, and when he sees that I’m doing something out of the norm, he brings it up and that provides me more understanding and focus. Like if I'm acting out like this in public, maybe I need to deal with something and maybe it’s just time for some self-care. We’re just aware of each other’s quirks. He notices when I need some time and he still wants me to just be Jessica, versus just mommy.”
She continues,
“That was one of the major things he said through postpartum, ‘I just want you to get back to who you are’ and we got to a point where we understood that that's not going to happen so he says now, ‘I just want to make sure that you are true to who you are and enjoying this.’ So if I need to go to see the Beyoncé concert, he can't come and it is what it is. I got a good one, Savannah,” she concludes.
Ultimately for Jessica, despite any stress or challenges, being able to foster and support Saige’s spirit as she grows makes all of this absolutely worth it.
“You learn from them, you grow with them, provide the best for them, and in the end, create memories with someone that’s going to forever, be a part of you,” she says. “It’s something that blows my mind every time I think about it. I’m one of those parents that’s in awe of their child, just seeing the light in her eyes and being able to enjoy it, that means something to me.”