Small Ways We’re Building Big Confidence Before School Starts

Four kids, four different stages. One goal: helping everyone start the school year feeling ready.

Whenever I tell people we have four kids, a rising eighth grader, a first grader, an almost-four-year-old, and a newborn, I almost always get the same response: “I don’t know how you guys do it.” Most days I laugh and say, “Honestly? Neither do I.”

But the truth is, we don’t do it through superhuman parenting. We do it through simple systems. I’m nowhere near as organized as I aspire to be, but there are some small systems I’ve set in place that I just can’t live without. Especially during the school year.

An average week day in our home looks like 2 pairs of tiny kid sneakers scattered next to size 9 and 11 women’s shoes in the foyer, right next to dads. Middle school supply lists or permission slips hanging from the fridge. Dance bags hastily tossed into the sitting room on the way out the door. Preschool flashcards on the coffee table, and a newborn sleeping in the middle of it all.

This school year, my husband and I are preparing four children for four completely different seasons of life:

• An eighth grader taking advanced classes for the first time
• A first grader finding her confidence as a reader and writer
• An almost-four-year-old practicing kindergarten skills
• And a newborn who just wants to be held

I’ve realized our children’s confidence doesn’t magically appear on the first day of school. It starts in the little routines we build at home. The things my children know they can count on within their safe space.

These are a few of the simple systems we’re putting in place this year, not to make our home perfect, but to make our back to school transition so much smoother, our mornings calmer, and our kids feel more capable. Honestly, a big part of pulling it off is that one-stop trip where I can grab school supplies, storage bins, and snacks all in the same cart.

Confidence Starts With Knowing What’s Coming

Reducing uncertainty is one of my main goals for our school weeks. My husband and I co-parent two of our children, as they live between households. Having a shared calendar and clear communication about the week’s events helps us all in so many ways. A few tactics we do to manage our calendar in our home are:

• Centralize a fridge command center
• Create color-coded Google Calendar schedules
• Set iPhone homework, pick up and drop off reminders
• Create a meal plan for the week
• Keep storage cups for pens and pencils in the common area

Making Mornings Easier Means Less Stress for Everyone

When my alarm goes off at 5:45am to start the mornings, what I crave the most is the elimination of decisions. The more prep and structure I have in place the day before, the better. Outfits and accessories for myself and the first grader, shoes for the next day within eyesight, groceries already purchased or delivered, and packing lunches are some great examples. Our 1st grader is eager to take part in packing her own lunch and takes a lot of pride in being involved.

Great hacks for a smooth lunch packing process for school aged kids:

• Have a lunch station in the kitchen
• Dedicate a snack drawer/container in the pantry
• Centralize a breakfast basket with quick grab and go solutions
• Keep reusable water bottles within reach for little hands
• Be sure to have backpacks packed the night before

Another thing that helps our children grow in their independence is having a place where everything lives and making them aware of said place. Things that often get a bit cluttered in our home and actually deserve a dedicated place are:

• Backpacks
• Shoes
• Library books
• Folders
• Jackets

Once there’s a place for it, they don’t have to ask Mom or Dad about it because they already know where to find it. A quick run for a few labeled bins was honestly all it took to give each of these things a home.

Mom Needs Systems Too

It can be easy in the hustle of back to school prep to overlook the fact that we as parents are entering into a transitional season too. I have to keep myself fueled and adjust my morning and evening routines to really allow for solid self care moments. This year we’ve added a newborn into the mix, and that has several layers involved. One of my biggest tasks is keeping myself fueled with good nutrition, especially while on the go.

Some ways I’m keeping my energy up as a mom of 4 this back to school season:

• Keeping a mom snack box in the diaper bag
• Grabbing my insulated tumbler for the morning commute
• Stashing protein bars in the pantry for an anytime snack
• Bringing a portable lunch with me for after school extracurricular commutes

I’ve learned that a prepared me is often a calmer me. If I have water, a snack, and coffee within reach, I show up differently for everyone else. This season has also reminded me that confidence isn’t just something we’re building in our children. I’m rebuilding my own confidence too, by learning how to parent four children, recovering from a C-section, and figuring out a new household rhythm with a newborn. Giving myself permission to prepare for my own needs isn’t selfish; it’s one of the ways I show up more patiently and fully for everyone else.

None of these products are going to guarantee straight A’s for our 8th grader or perfect behavior all school year for our 1st grader. I’m sure there will be some days of forgotten homework or a misplaced library book, however, these systems and routines are capable of creating something every child deserves before walking into a classroom: the quiet confidence that comes from feeling prepared.

As a mom of four, I’ve learned that confidence isn’t built in one big moment. It’s built in the little ones, like packing a lunch independently, checking the family calendar, hanging up a backpack, choosing tomorrow’s outfit, or remembering the water bottle without being reminded. 

Those tiny victories add up for all of us.

And that’s exactly the kind of school year we’re hoping to build.

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