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Our family went from raising one child stateside in the middle of the pandemic, living 13 hours away from both of our parents, to raising two children in South Korea with my in-laws as neighbors.
“I remember feeling so nervous, like, "Oh my gosh, am I ready to have a kid?" Arin tells ParentsNeedLove. “And I was talking to my dad about it, and he was like, "Well, did you ever see yourself having kids?" I was like, "Yeah." And he said, "There's your answer, you're ready." I'm like, "Okay." So that was that.”
I think the biggest lesson is that parenting is all about flexibility and being able to not take things personally when people insert their opinions about what you decide for your family.
According to Jessica, taking time to herself is not a want, but a need, and she first started making it a habit before she even gave birth. “I’ve always been a proponent of self-care and after I made a big life adjustment and change, I realized how important is to take care of myself.”
“My journey to motherhood is quite different than everyone else's. Mine required immediate surrender,” says Sara. “Surrendering this entire journey of motherhood to whatever it is.”
“Whatever it was”, also included something else unprecedented.
“They [her children] do have a lot more access to me and all my faults,” says Sarah. “A lot of the drama that's happened in my life, they've had a front-row seat to it whereas with my parents that wasn’t the case and they really kept it separate. To an extent, that’s a good thing because kids shouldn't be exposed to everything, but I think I would've had a much better perspective on real life if my mom had explained some of those things to me.” - Sarah Lawson
Zuri’s mom isn’t just intentional, she’s headstrong and she told ParentsNeedLove that during her pregnancy she tuned out the noise of parenting advice. Why? Well, because while many moms are well-intending, LaKeisha recognized that motherhood journeys vary and she did not want hers overshadowed by external opinions.
As a number of millennial-aged parents can relate to, good grades were expected without exception, and obedience was enforced without question. There were no ifs, ands, or buts, and things were a far cry from today's widely popular gentle parenting style.
Community is big. Doesn’t have to be a large community but finding like minded moms to support you is key. Finding things that bring you joy and enrichment so you are a fulfilled person.
July, 2017, my wife lost her youngest son to a drowning incident. So, when I was asked to interview her for this, I wasn’t sure, emotionally, how she’d handle the subject of motherhood